I'm confused
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I'm confused
| Thu, 12-14-2006 - 9:05pm |
I've been married for 4 1/2 years and have a 3 year-old daughter. Before we had our daughter, we lived by ourselves. After we had our daughter, my in-laws came more often to visit us from overseas. Now, my mother-in-law lives with us. She saids she wants to see her first granddaughter more and wants to help us out. Well, my daughter is now in preschool, and don't need her to help out anymore. She is still around. She doesn't help me with laundry or clean ups. All she does is play with my daughter. What does she do??? I can't stand her. My husband thinks is perfectly fine that she is around. Of course I have no say to that. Then the arguements started about 2 years ago and it is on and off. Recently, it has been almost everyday. It's gotten to the point where I'm sick of tired of this. It's like I can't stand him anymore and he can't stand me anymore. I even told him I wanted a divorce! Then after a few hours of calming down, he would pretend nothing happened and say we were just angry at each other. Everything will be fine. I don't think everything will be fine. There is no solution to this yet. I hate living with my mother-in-law and I hate the fact that we argue almost everyday. I even thought of leaving my husband and daughter. I'm so depressed and confused. What should I do??

jgirl, just to get a little more perspective.
You mentioned that your mother in law comes from overseas. Do your husband and mother come from a culture where extended families living together is common?
~ cl-2nd_life
"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
I have a few questions: Does your husband know how serious this problem is to you? Does he know you are at the point of considering ending your marriage? If he doesn't, I think he should know how serious this is.
I assume you're considering not going on your trip because you and your husband are at a high level of discontent, right? If that's the case, I think it would be appropriate to tell him you're thinking of not going. I'm wondering though, is your mother in law making this trip with you? And if you don't go, will you keep your daughter with you? I'm also wondering why, when you think of leaving your marriage, you think of leaving your daughter behind?
~ cl-2nd_life
"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Besides arguing, does your husband now realize how serious this is? Perhaps after having a little time to let the realization sink in he'll be ready to approach it differently.
I think it's very important for you to do exactly what you said you were going to do -- begin working with a marriage counselor as soon as possible. If you plan to stay home from this trip, I would suggest you start working with the counselor and let your husband join you when he returns.
~ cl-2nd_life
"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"