Welcome to the board, Coolio, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.
I have to tell you, your post is a little hard to understand, and I think that may be why you haven't received responses. I hope you can help us out by giving a few more facts and making things a little clearer; when we have a good understanding of the situation, we're able to offer more thoughts and suggestions.
Some things that would make your situation better understood:
At one point you say things were great, no problems, at another point you indicate there were always problems but that you chose to look past them. I suspect some things that either he moved to be less caring and communicative as time went on or he was always this way, but you've grown tired of having to try to engage him. Let me know if one of these is correct, or if something else is the case. You also mention constant fighting as "going back to our old ways", that sounds like your relationship may have always been difficult, yes?
How long have you been together, how old are you now?
Did you get pregnant before you were married? How long had you been together before you got pregnant?
You said you married him because your mom wasn't happy that you were dating him. I don't understand, did you marry him to spite her or to make her happier about your situation? Why didn't she like you dating him?
How old is your baby now?
You mention not wanting your daughter to go through what you did, but since we don't know what you went through it's impossible to address your concerns and offer suggestions, solutions or comforts.
You say you've tried couples counseling, which sounds like he's aware of your unhappiness, and I assume you've discussed your desire for physical touch and communication, what does he say about the situation? What does he think? What does he want? Is he aware how close you are to leaving?
Without knowing more, I can't answer like I'd like to, but I can say that any relationship that causes you to lose your self esteem is not a situation to stay in. I can also say that you cannot change him, if his personality is such that he doesn't want touch or communication, that's how he is and you can't change that. However, if his distance is due to problems between you, it may well be changeable.
Huge hugs, Coolio, I'm so sorry you're feeling so down and so unhappy in your situation. Having been in a bad marriage myself, I can understand how you're feeling. I hope to hear back from you soon.
~ cl-2nd_life
"Experience is what you get When you don't get what you want" ~ Author unknown
I have to tell you, your post is a little hard to understand, and I think that may be why you haven't received responses. I hope you can help us out by giving a few more facts and making things a little clearer; when we have a good understanding of the situation, we're able to offer more thoughts and suggestions.
Some things that would make your situation better understood:
Without knowing more, I can't answer like I'd like to, but I can say that any relationship that causes you to lose your self esteem is not a situation to stay in. I can also say that you cannot change him, if his personality is such that he doesn't want touch or communication, that's how he is and you can't change that. However, if his distance is due to problems between you, it may well be changeable.
Huge hugs, Coolio, I'm so sorry you're feeling so down and so unhappy in your situation. Having been in a bad marriage myself, I can understand how you're feeling. I hope to hear back from you soon.~ cl-2nd_life
"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"