Should I be insulted??

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
Should I be insulted??
7
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 11:37pm

Please, any feedback on this.....

My boyfriend of 3 years (and more of a FWB situation) has forgotten my birthday this weekend. We work together, and the date has been brought up in conversation numerous times.
My question here is, has this happened to you....and how have you handled it? Have you brought it up to them after the fact, and what have you said to them?
Men--is this a common, no harm intended mistake that happens, and generally is not a "measurement" of the love you feel for your G/F, and/or W?
I am hurt...and the truth is, him just saying "Happy B-day" would of made me happy....I know this can be a delicate situation for men, (remembering important dates) and even more so, in a FWB situation. So, is me feeling sick to my stomach me overreacting, or a justifiable reaction??
Maggy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 11:52pm
Is he your boyfriend or a fwb?
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 12:07am
He is my FWB partner.....
Sorry for the confusion.
Maggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 12:50am

If he's only a FWB, then you need not be insulted. He owes you no more than your average female friend. And I'm sure that not all of your female friends phoned you or gave you a gift.

If you want your birthday remembered, find a REAL boyfriend.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 5:26am
I think you're overreacting in this situation. He's not your boyfriend, he's a FWB. He can't be expected to act like your boyfriend.


If you want a guy who treats you like his girlfriend, you'll need to stop the FWB and get a real boyfriend.








~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 9:05am
Maybe I need to be re-directed elsewhere?
I explained my situation as such (FWB) but, we are a couple in the sense we do have a romantic relationship. I did not realize this board was limited to couples in a typical relationship. There are other types of couples, and my intention was to get advice if this was a common theme along men, and how those who are involved in these situations deal with it. I perhaps should of left my particular situation out of it.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 9:42am

Maggy, no one is criticising your relationship, we're trying to understand it in order to give appropriate advice. I think we may be misunderstanding your terminology.

As we generally understand it on this board, FWB (friend with benefits) is a companionable association between two people who enjoy each other's company and like to have sex together. There are no romantic feelings involved, and both understand that if one member of the association meets someone he or she views as a possible romance, the association is over, with no hard feelings on either side. A boyfriend/girlfriend, on the other hand, is a person with whom a romantic relationship may build toward a permanent and perhaps legal union in the future that could include having children together. A boyfriend and girlfriend may be having sex and may say that they love each other. There is an expectation of loyalty, fidelity, and loving concern for one another that does not necessarily hold true in a FWB association.

If you could explain more about your relationship (not less!), it would help us to better understand what the issues are. For example, how long have the two of you been together, and how old are you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 2:49pm
What Geo's saying is correct, Maggy. No one is criticizing or judging your relationship at all, we were simply responding to the question you asked. To me, FWB means sex with a partner without the strings of a relationship. In that situation, expecting birthday recognition isn't appropriate, and if you want that kind of relationship, FWB won't fill your needs. Birthday recognition and the like are the strings attached to a romantic relationship, FWB is about sex without other expectations and responsibilities.








~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"