Should I cheat?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Should I cheat?
5
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 12:13am
Hello every


Edited 1/10/2007 8:28 pm ET by coy_inamorata
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 12:26am
The only thing that can come of cheating is pain, hurt, destroyed trust and a broken relationship. It sounds to me like you know full well what's missing in your relationship, the passion that you think your co-worker can supply. A couple of things about that:


  • If there's something wrong with your relationship, the only way to fix it is to deal with it with your partner, resolve it and move forward in your relationship, problem resolved.


  • If the problem is unresolvable then it's best to know that and be able to move on to find a partner who meets all your needs.


  • How is it you think a fling with someone else is going to resolve your problem? You think your co-worker's going to satisfy you so much that you'll stay satisfied for the rest of your life? Not hardly. You'll miss it again, just as much because it will still be missing from your relationship.


    A fling is never the way to go. You'll prove yourself to be a cheater, untrustworthy. You'll resolve nothing but you'll open up many problems that very likely won't ever be resolvable.

    Am I correct in understanding that passion is missing? Is this in the form of sex or overall attention? Has it always been this way, if not, when did it begin? Have you talked to your partner about this? If so, what did he say?







  • ~ cl-2nd_life

    "Experience is what you get
    When you don't get what you want"

    ~ Author unknown




    Edited 1/9/2007 12:33 am ET by cl-2nd_life








    "Ignoring the facts
    does not change the facts"
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 10-13-2004
    Tue, 01-09-2007 - 3:14am

    Yes, I have cheated on a loved one.

    The outcome? Short term lust. Long term, none of the problems in my relationship were solved.

    If I were in the same situation again, I'd either fix my current relationship or leave it.

    Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 03-26-2003
    Tue, 01-09-2007 - 6:10am

    I haven't read the other responses, so forgive me if I repeat. Cheating, no matter what the reason or situation, is disrespectful (to say nothing of hurtful) to your s/o. It's the coward's way out. You want to have your cake and eat it too.

    The right thing to do is never easy, and in a situation like yours, it's VERY difficult. You are going to have to decide whether your s/o's failures in the bedroom are something you can live with or try to fix, or bad enough to end the relationship. Because trying someone else on for size (sorry, bad pun) while keeping your current man available is just WRONG.

    So, remain faithful and deal with the issues, or tell him it's over and go out looking for someone else. There are NO other moral options. The test is simple: What would you want HIM to do in this situation?

    LRM

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 04-17-2003
    Wed, 01-10-2007 - 9:49am

    Be an adult about it and break up first. Why anyone would choose to throw 3 or more people into an emotional roller coaster for something as trivial as sex is beyond me.

    You're an adult, act like one.

     

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 01-13-2006
    Wed, 01-10-2007 - 7:07pm

    coy_inamorata,

    <>

    How can you be trying to fix things if you don't know what they are??

    Cheating on someone is never right, even if "something's missing" or "not right" about your current relationship. Infact if you are using those reasons, then frankly the relationship shouldn't be. If your BF is not a match then he's not a match. Let him go find someone he is a match with and you do the same.

    Best of luck,
    defleppardgal

    Defleppardgal