Taken for granted--Did this to myself!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Taken for granted--Did this to myself!
2
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 11:20am

Yep, I did this to myself. In the past few months I realized that although I love my dh very much, I am beginning to resent him. Up until the past year I felt very insecure. I was always worried that my dh might wake up and wonder, "Why am I with HER?". This insecurity led me to treat him like the king of the castle and build my whole life around him. He'd been married before to a real witch and I thought if I was "super wife/mom" he'd be hopelessly devoted to me. Turns out, the more I gave to him, the less he gave to me. I did this to myself...I am NOT blaming him. I'm just trying to figure out how to put an end to this way of living. I am now taking more care of myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I am slowly backing off from trying to be his everything. On occasion he's responded to these changes by being more attracted to me, but he quickly goes right back to taking me for granted. I have talked to him about this several times but he doesn't seem to take me seriously (again, probably my own fault because of the life I've created for him up until recently).

I'm 37 years old, a mom of two, and we've been married 17 years. I hate the idea of trying to play games or manipulating him into changing. Is it really possible to turn this around after all this time? I would like for our marriage to be mutually fullfilling, but I'm starting to feel like I'm kidding myself that things can ever change.

Any and all advice will be greatly appreciated.

Gabbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 12:24pm

Kudos to you for figuring out what you don't like about yourself and your relationship and beginning to take steps to change yourself.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 7:20pm

I echo Kim's kudos ~ it's great that you recognized the "error of your ways" and are taking steps to change it.








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"