crazy ex from the past situation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
crazy ex from the past situation?
30
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 12:09pm

My ex from last year, the obsessed guy I broke up with called me last Thursday. I saw his name on the caller ID so I didn’t pick up. He then called the “main line”, got transferred so I couldn’t see his name and he said Hi it’s J from the past. I was freaked (having flashbacks) and said I had to go, I was on a conference call. I then emailed him saying I wished him well in life but am asking one time and one time only NEVER to call me again. Fortunately I moved 3-4 months ago and I don’t have a forwarding address as I live in my roommates condo and don’t have a listed phone number. I doubt he could find out my residence and our apartment is security building. I rephrased the cuss words he used the best I could in the notes below...
At work I park in a security parking lot too.

He threatened me and belittled me when he didn’t get what he wanted. We dated OVER a year ago and he comes back asking for a few items he gave me as a gift (pots and pans, pillows)...plus I moved and don’t have them. If hypothetically he needed them he should have asked for them a year ago. However my friend suspsects it has nothing to do with that, he probably called to see how I was and didn’t expect me to hang up on him. My life is good right now and of course now this crazy guy comes in to mess it up.

Advice, suggestions and can someone really sue someone they dated for less than two months ... he has sued ex GF’s in the past, same thing, he likes to make people pay! He’s sick! Now looking back I shouldn’t have said anything but he pushed my buttons....can’t turn the clock back!
D,

J wrote: Ok I'll have my attorney get in touch with you...this was not a personal interest, as we both know you and I have nothing in common...I don't wish to open any door for that matter even a crack...but i had a situation with my ex-partner Clay where I sued him for close to 60,000.00 and he settled, part of that agreement was to return all contents from the condo in San Diego...some of which said items I let you have on the condition that if Clay ever wanted or (clay and I) ever settled up with one another...I let it lie as he never paid me until now...so I can not receive the remainder of my funds until every...pot, blanket, pillow, etc...is returned...sorry for the inconvenience. > >Please I don't wish to continue knowing you either...this situation is unfortunate...please let me know how you can get those items from the condo in San diego returned to me. > >Sincerely, >

J again....Yes I would agree it's odd, and guess what the guy is weiord, that's why we no longer do business...it was asked by him to return all belongings out of the condo...I think there was a chaneel blanket do you have that and large oversized bowling pot you wanted for soups...anything would be helpfull, I find it hard to believe you threw them out...sorry you had to downsize, look I don't really like emailing you, so can you please see what you have and send it cod. Look, I am a reasonably nice guy...so please be nice, instead of a rude person, like you were on the phone, and in your email...I haven't spoken to you in over a year, so please, i think you might think to highly of yourself..just see what you have and let me know.

send to:

Peanut wrote: Not sure what you’re talking about; besides I moved and I don’t even own any pots or pans that you may have given me in the past. My place is completely furnished, had to downsize! Good luck with that and if you have problems just go shopping and replace the items, it’s not that difficult. I’d never contact an ex and ask for pots and pans; that’s kind of odd.
D
Come on you have to be kidding me, downsized from what your apartment was a tiny *s__T* hole already...whatever...I guess people never change, just a full of s__t liar as usual...should of guessed...I guess I thought you were a nicer person than you really are...I am engaged so this wasn't to try to get back together or open up a door, rather life goes full circle, I do hope you find happiness in life, cause you really seem like an angry bitter person...

God Bless,

J
ps- Met your ex Mitch, have hung out at a few parties together, boy what an interesting perspective on you, my friend Brook whom you also know introduced us...

Peanut: As I said, I downsized and anything you gave me back then as a gift is gone.
Take care
J wrote: Always have to be a rude *b__ch*...look I'm not angry...sorry about your father, I didn't know, I am not, nor have i ever been hateful or mean to you...so please Deary...I was trying to solve a situation I had...wish you and your new love the best....I am nice, you are NOT...and as far as DRAMA goes I think you bring it out in me.....just abrasive and rude, and unsimpathetic to anyones issues but your own, and as far as Mitch goes...I would much better be seen in his company as he has only said nice things about you, and I as well...we have never said a bad word about you...so on that note, my Darling...enjoy your life...you definately need help in "the How to Win Friends and Influence People" department...you know a year went by and I could of been nice and been a friend, but you need to hate people to keep you from feeling better about yourself...
Peanut wrote: Read your letter to me and then let me know who is angry and bitter. This DRAMA you create is what drives people out of your life. My dad died and I had to downsize to go see him one last time; I have nothing but the clothes on my back. Never make assumptions; life is a gift so you be nice to people. I’d never stoop as low as you and write the petty things you do that have nothing to do with why you contacted me initially (your angry so you take it out on me, not going to work), think about it; I wish nothing but the best for you and everyone.
Congrat’s on the engagement!
All future emails will be sent to my junk email box……
Oh my God...go get a f’ing life like I have time to deal with a loser, broke, pain in the arse...like you...please go get f__ed......in The Arse.... now really I have no need ever in life to be nice to a loser Cu_t with a unsensitive beoch-like attitude...please enjoy your life, as at one point in time I thought you were a nice person...gave me a reason to think nicely of you in my past...now I believe you just to be as nasty as the rotten person you are...please I prefer I have the last word this time...don't respond to this as it is not worth my time to be nice or angry to you...you are like a poison...Thank God I am at a strong place in my life to never ever let a poison affect me, other than that you might have been right about the drama...but this was simple you could of been nice and I would of gone my merry way...Now I'll think about fing with you, JUST BECAUSE I CAN...and if I want to I will...so please be nice...or I'll have you using the remainder of what you don't have that you downsized with, eaten up by attorneys fees just because I can.(these days you don't need a good reason to sue someone)...so remember d my dear...In a year going by I have lived in Paris for 6 months...enjoyed my life and met the woman of my dreams...all that time and you still angry about life...please d...you need to act your age...not 3...all I did was make a request and you treated my phone call and email like I was trash...so to one woman's trash is another womnan's treasure...you are definately a "BIG L"...God Bless you for being ugly inside and out, cause I now know what to look for in life...

J.

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 12:23pm
Peanut, that is truly scary. But do NOT engage in any more discussion with this guy. You are trying to reason with him, and it just gives him more ammunition. Repeat, do NOT email him anymore. It's the response he craves. Be safe.
Sposa
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 12:32pm

Trust me, that last email I didn’t respond too. My friend at work pays under 20 bucks a month for legal insurance, they are on the stock exchange, reputable company—maybe I should get it?

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 1:30pm

There was an article in Cosmo once in which an ex-boyfriend sued his ex-girlfriend for $25,000...and won.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 1:31pm
Are talking about pre-paid legal?

 

http://tickers.ticke

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 1:51pm
Yes, pre-paid legal. Well I haven’t seen the guy in over a year. We went on zero trips....he wasn’t working when we dated. He also hasn’t paid taxes in 20 years, he has some nerve. He apparently makes his living off sueing people.
Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 2:38pm
The guy sounds like a real idiot Peanut. Like the others said, don't respond to him, that only fuels his fire. But, don't junk his emails either, save all of them and any future ones. If he continues to email you that could be considered harrassment and if you have his emails you have proof if you need it. Hopefully, you won't need them but it's better to be safe than sorry.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 2:52pm

Go to the cops, file charges, and they will order him to cease and desist. You have proof - use it.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 3:27pm

I have seen these people before. What's really ironic is that the guy recognizes that he IS addicted to DRAMA- usually these folks don't even see that about themselves. They think that the way they are is *normal*.

As far as what to do... I've dealt with a situation like this. Here's my advice.

1) Do strongly consider going to get a lawyer. Yes, it sucks. Yes, you're going to have to pay. If you had a bone sticking out of your body, you'd go to a specialist- a doctor. If you have a legal situation, you go to a lawyer. It's what they do. :)

My suggestion would be to find someone who works by themselves, not some big firm. A big firm is almost certainly going to want to get a retainer fee from you in advance, to apply against any hourly fees they rack up representing you.

A sole practictioner, on the other hand, is only working for themself. They're going to be able to sit with you, charge you $50 or $75 or whatever for that first hour to sit and explain the situation, and then (hopefully) be honest with you and give you some advice on what this guy can ask for, legally, and what he can't.

Odds are that there's nothing he can do. You're talking about nearly worthless household items; in the eyes of the law, they're only worth the value it would take to replace them, and a used pot or blanket goes for about 50 cents at the local Salvation Army thrift store.

2) Do NOT write to him anything, ANYTHING, about his life, about his personality, about what you think about life, about your situation, about what kind of person he is, what kind of person you are. Nothing.

That's what this guy is totally after. It has nothing to do with a freakin soup pot! LOL He wants to throw his engagement in your face; he wants to denigrate you; he wants his ego fed.

If you have any more contact with him, you must ignore the strong temptation to engage in any kind of talk like that with him. Instead, just stick to the barest of facts.

"You do not have his stuff. You are sorry but you cannot get any of his stuff. Goodbye."

That's the party line.

3) The guy is crazy. He's apparently functional, but he's crazy. And his form of craziness is a sickness.

Does this mean you should deal with him, because sick people deserve our empathy? Absolutely not.

His kind of sickness is contagious. It can make YOU feel crazy just dealing with him. Therefore, DON'T.

His sickness spreads through words, through dealing with him and people like him. The only way to protect yourself is to NOT deal with him. Stay away.

FWIW, I'm sure you feel sick to your stomach hearing from him, dealing with him. That kind of sick feeling is how he feels all the time. What's worse, he's addicted to having that drama and that feeling. It's pathetic and unfortunate, but there's nothing you can do for him, only to stay far, far away.

Again, not a word to him other than "I do not have your stuff, sorry." Not even a comment (which seems so harmless) like "I think it's strange to contact an ex and ask for that kind of stuff." NOTHING like that. Only the very barest of facts!

Good luck. Consider consulting an attorney, even if you don't hire one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 3:51pm

SP, IF you need to contact an attorney, try contacting the CA Bar Association first. I know the IL Bar Association has a free 'clinic' one weekend per month in which you can call or go in and consult with an attorney for free~CA might have something similar. It'd be worth looking into, just to CYA!

Michelle

Michelle

Fill with mingled cream and amber,
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious vis

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 4:52pm

An attorney will tell you the first step is to press charges. First step is to your local police department. Just so ya know.

Lisa

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