Not answering emails...

Avatar for calilawgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Not answering emails...
6
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 4:08pm

Since I have found myself newly single (again). Not really by choice, but I recognize my exBF was not the guy for me. So I've decided to take all that OLD advice about women being proactive and sending emails/teases/winks.

One of the sites I belong to is called jdate. I have come across most of the men on that site on other sites. And since I'm looking for something long term with the same religion, it's the only one I'm paying for right now. So in the last few days, I've sent out four emails. Well on jdate, you have to be a paying member to read messages. But, you are also able to see if your message has been opened and when.

So, out of all 4 of these emails. All of them were opened and they looked at my profile. But none of them responded. I'm very perplexed. I always respond to every email- even if it's at least to say thanks, but no thanks and good luck in your search.

Does this happen to other people too?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 4:35pm

Yes, it happens all the time, and frankly it's just FINE with me! I much prefer to infer that someone isn't interested than be TOLD that they are not!

We've gone back and forth on this issue on this board and there are people who feel strongly on both positions. I HATE getting thanks but no thanks emails with a passion, so I don't send them (on the "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" golden rule theory).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2004
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 4:45pm

<<>>

I'm sure you just made NGOL very happy with that remark ;)

Holly

Avatar for calilawgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 5:41pm
Sorry. I should have read further through the archives before I posted. My personal opinion is that if someone took the time to email me, the least I could do is let them know I'm not interested. I just think it's courteous. Oh well- I guess live and learn.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 5:42pm
It happens all the time.

 

 

 

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 5:49pm

Oh, no worries ;-). And you need to make the decision that's right for you as far as whether you respond or not...but just realize that not everyone who's not responding is intentionally being rude. Some of them may believe (like me) that they are being courteous by NOT responding!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 5:55pm

>> I'm very perplexed. I always respond to every email- even if it's at least to say thanks, but no thanks and good luck in your search.

Does this happen to other people too?<<

All the time.

It perplexes me, too, because apparently there's some kind of Bizzaro universe where people prefer to not get "thanks but no thanks" emails. What's really strange is that some of these people have managed to cross over, and live in OUR universe now. :)

LOL

Seriously, yes, this topic has been debated back and forth a lot. I come down very strongly on your side- if someone sends you a nice, polite email, the least you can do is knock off a one-liner saying "thanks but no thanks" to them.

To be perfectly honest, I have some pretty strong opinions about the people who don't like getting these emails, but since there's lots of them here and since they are (on the whole) good, nice folks, I refrain from saying what I *really* think. (This will come as news to most of the OLD board members.)

In any case, I urge you to keep doing things like you have been, and to not worry too much about those who don't answer your emails. As has been said, they might well not be intentionally rude; they're just from that Bizzaro land where they think that they're being polite. :)