Didn't ask for a second date.... ??

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
Didn't ask for a second date.... ??
10
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 7:50am

So I had a first date yseterday evening, and I am very new to OLD. The thing is, he didn't ask for a second date or to see me again at all.... But then, I got a nice email afterwards thanking me for the date. But again, no reference to future dates or get togethers or contact. Also, the email seemed very canned.

I thought we really hit it off on the date, but do you think that this is an indication that he didn't think the same way?

What should I reply to the email? Should I hint at future contact or another date? If I don't, will it just end?

What's been your experience with that?

THANKS!
Jayme

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 8:25am
If a guy wants a second date, he would have asked before he left the first date.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 10:06am

Well, my experience has been that a guy who's really interested will ask for a 2nd date while we're still on the first, or at least in the first contact shortly after the date (within a day). So, I wouldn't hold my breath on this guy if I were you, but you never know. I'd email him back and let him know you enjoyed meeting him and would enjoy getting together again. Then the ball's in his court.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 10:23am

Hi all,

I agree with Sheri, I think you should leave the door open just in case. Although most of the guy friends I have tell me that they don't always ask for a second date on the first date, that it depends on their courage level more then their interest level. Also often we assume there is some unspoken protocol that some guys are just clueless about. If the date went as well as you said it did, im sure he will ask you out again, if not then its probably his issue, and you are better off. Good Luck :)

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 11:14am

i have to disagree underscore because Ive had the experience of both. Some do ask while on the date - and some ask afterwards. Ive come to realize its about 50/50 chance. I thnk the guys that dont ask don't want to seem too eager and want to feel out you for the next date. So they'll ask within that next week.

Now if they dont ask within that next week, I'd just chalk it up to great first date, but nothing more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 11:35am

Just write him back and thank him as well, tell him you had a good time, and say something along the lines of "Maybe we can get together again."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 3:36pm
Are you talking about a first meeting? Or a first date? I always feel odd about asking at that first meeting - because it seems to put everyone on the spot to make a snap decision.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 4:25pm
Okay, I give up. What's the difference between a first "meeting" and a first "date"?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 4:51pm

Here's the first meeting scenario. At least the one I follow.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 5:13pm
Great post, LG. It should go into the OLD summary JHoover is creating. (And I love the bullets!)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 5:39pm

I think the 2nd meeting is really the first "date", or at least going into the first meeting, that's how it should be looked upon.

I've had three instances while wrapping up the first meeting now where the girl said "sure, I'd like to go out with you again", even so far as planning when, only to never hear from her again.

Then again I've had first meetings that most certainly ended up being the first date.