Lukewarm First-Meets.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Lukewarm First-Meets.
19
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 2:01pm
If you meet someone and they are generally a nice person... they have no red-flags but there's no 'sparks' on your part either... are you more likely to accept or reject an offer for a date?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 2:10pm

Ive learned these are usually th epoeple you have the most potential with. I really think the "sparks flying" is a sign its gonna be a hit/run later on. Meaning it'll go real fast, then bam that person will be gone or you'll be gone.

The gradual feelings/sparks developing are what Ive found to be the BEST way to date.

So yes I accept offers for dates afterwards.

Where have you been btw?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 2:37pm
I'm with surfergirl - I'm much more willing than I used to be to give someone a chance as long as there are no red flags. The times I've felt immediate sparks have almost always led to a quick meltdown.
And I was wondering the same thing as SG - where the heck have you been? You and Yukon are well, I hope.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 2:40pm

Absolutely, I would accept another date. I think those initial sparks are over-rated sometimes. I think as you get to know someone and your feelings intensify, those are the feelings that are more accurate.

Holly

Nice to see you around again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 2:48pm

I agree with everyone else on both statements;

1-Yes I would. For my last two great relationships, I didn't feel the spark initially. However they did come.

2-Where have you been? Good to see you back.

Jodie

 

http://tickers.ticke

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 2:54pm

In a few cases, I've accepted a second and even a third date with men that I didn't feel a spark with on the first date. The reason I agreed to go out again was because, I was comfortable with them and we had a lot in common, so I wanted to see if there was a chance I would feel something later. But, it's never happened. Now, if I don't feel that spark on the first date, I don't waste their time or mine going out again.

I know me, if it's not there from the start, it's not going to be later.

Welcome back John, you've been missed.

Libra




Edited 1/27/2005 3:02 pm ET ET by libraclass
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 3:13pm
Yes, I would (and I have) ... as long as we weren't glaringly incompatible, in part because of what I've learned on this site. I used to go for the fireworks too but have learned from my mistakes (some of them!) I think it's possible for someone to 'grow on you' and those relationships do tend to be the best.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 3:18pm

Accept.

It's been my experience that all those sparks burn out fast.

The slow starters burn hot and long.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 3:31pm

John - This is really a great question. Welcome back.

For my part I tend to over-read the reaction of the people I meet - and if they're not enthusiastic I tend to figure they aren't interested. In many instances I've been wrong. So I think with OLD you do have to give it a date or two in order to figure if anything is there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 3:59pm

Hi John! Hi Yukon!

Absolutely I would accept a second date. Even with a few must-not-haves thrown in for good measure. I like to take my time "to see the big picture".

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 4:01pm

I agree with the other posters about giving it a try without sparks. But here's the question. What do you do when you do accept the date or subsequent date and you get to the point where the guy wants to kiss you and you are still not attracted (and don't want to kiss them)? That is the problem I encounter when the sparks aren't there. It's hard to proceed past that point.

Many times, though, we don't even get past the first date because if I am feeling lukewarm, I'm guessing the guy senses it and doesn't pursue me.

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