Guys online fickle/just looking for sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Guys online fickle/just looking for sex?
22
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 3:43pm
I'M wondering, do people feel like a lot of men who go on these dating sites are just looking for sex? I've never really had a problem getting second dates. But, I've been doing match.com now and have had so many dates in which the guy is clearly into me, refers to us meeting up in the future and then I never hear from him again. I'm 100% percent certain that during the date they mean all this. From the moment i say hello, it's like they're transfixed and usually try to extend the date. This has happened about 4 times now. It's frustrating! I'm smart enough to know it's not me, but a little part of me is stumped. Am i alone in this?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 3:57pm
I'm not sure I understand your question - but in general people disappear all the time from online. It's a very casual way to meet people. Many of those online (men and women alike) are there for either the BBD or MakeTheEx jealous thrill.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 4:26pm
What's BBD!?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 4:36pm

EWM,

Someone on this board (I think LG) posted a thread a few months ago about the percentages of people he felt were really serious about meeting on-line or in general. I think he hit the nail on the head. Here's my take on the percentages for men.

25 % are really ready and willing to date. These are the quality guys.

30 % are looking for sex only. Go to Craigslist and see what I'm talking about. They will send you lewd e-mails on the initial contact; or play games to get what they want. Then they'll dissappear.

20 % are not ready to date or are un-datable. Example: The guys that ask for panties, are psychologically unbalanced, stalkers, perverts, etc.

25 % are married or are bored with their current sweetie. Example: "Honey can we make whoopie tonight? No chance in **%& honey." He then heads to the PC when she heads out to run some errands.

TT

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 5:10pm
TT - I think you nailed it with those percentages, at least based on my experience. Also, you get bonus points for the "Newlywed Game" reference ("making whoopie" -- LOL).
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 5:14pm
TT said Whoopie....LOL.

 

http://tickers.ticke

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 5:17pm

Carrie,

My question is that when you get all of these e-mails from guys, how do you seperate the good guys from the bad? Hence, when I send you a wink or e-mail, I have to compete with some guy that's married and wears a bra when his wife is downstairs cooking.

TT

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 6:38pm

And, the worst part is, you break down (because you like sex, too!), after a couple of dates and have sex with that great guy....

Linda
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 6:47pm

I think alot of guys think they will just go out and find someone else to have sex with but it doesn't always work out that way. That's why they come back later looking to patch things up. Then once they get the sex, they are gone again.

TT

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 6:48pm

I went out to lunch with a guy from Yahoo and he gave me some perspective...

He said that guys might be dating me and 1 or 2 other people and then they decide on someone else. So they might be real attentive, but they have some other people that they are dating too and I guess there is nothing wrong with it...it just sucks when they disappear.

In real world dating, unless the guy is a major "mack daddy" this will happen less...

That's my take on it.

Claribeth

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 9:29am

<>

You're preaching to the choir, Linda (choir = me). I know I responded to your other post about this subject but I keep thinking you may indeed be correct about OLD being the worst thing to happen to single women. I've been doing this less than a year, but it's amazing (and a little depressing) how little I've learned to expect from these "dates." God forbid I get attached to someone, because next thing I know, he's a ghost.

To answer your question, TT, I just have to rely on my instincts for separating the few good guys from the jerks/weirdos. Not a foolproof plan, by any means, but it's all I've got.

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