Interest that's based on appearance
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Interest that's based on appearance
| Sat, 01-29-2005 - 9:53am |
Yesterday I received an introductory email from someone. He told me what he does for a living and said he saw my photo, thought I was cute and thought he'd "hit me up". I also got his phone number .
At first, I thought "okay" but now I'm thinking that I'm a little put off by the fact that his motivation to contact me was primarily based on my physical appearance. I'm sure he read my profile - but I have a gut feeling that he didn't really care about what I wrote.
While I definitely am flattered - I have a gut feeling that he's just trying to hook up. Am I being too analytical about this or am I right to feel hesitant?

I say check him out...men are just so visual.
Go out and meet him and if it seems like he is just in to it for the "hook up", then just don't see him again.
You never know, he might be a good guy...
Claribeth
He's a guy! :-) Guys are very visual and if he said he is attracted to you, no big deal. Consider yourself lucky that it appears he read your profile at all. Yes, we women would never consider sending an initial email that talks about how attractive a guy is or to offer him a compliment on his looks. But guys DO do that.
It's not like he said something like "hey baby, you're really hot, let's hook up sometime " (I've been there, received that email). I do think you are over-analyzing. Talk on the phone or exchange a couple more emails with him and see how it goes. If he continues to focus on your looks ONLY and/or asks to "hook up" rather than meet for coffee or something, you have your answer. If he seems nice and respectful and really seems to want to get to know you, give him a chance. He just knows a beautiful woman and wants to offer her a compliment!
>>At first, I thought "okay" but now I'm thinking that I'm a little put off by the fact that his motivation to contact me was primarily based on my physical appearance. I'm sure he read my profile - but I have a gut feeling that he didn't really care about what I wrote.
While I definitely am flattered - I have a gut feeling that he's just trying to hook up. Am I being too analytical about this or am I right to feel hesitant?<<
You are being too analytical about this.
My own belief is that once we are starting to analyze people's motivations behind what they do, we are running down a bad road. Women, in particular, do this a LOT. "Why is he saying this like this, what is he thinking, what does he think of me, I wonder what his motivation is..."
If you're in a bar, or a nightclub, or at the ballpark, or at a church picnic and some guy comes up to you and starts talking to you and flirting with you a bit, what do you think drew him in the first place?
Of COURSE it's appearance. Are you just now realizing that's how men are? :)
As far as only wanting a hookup- well, the only way you're going to find that out is to date him a bit.