Profile- Honest opinions please
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| Mon, 01-31-2005 - 2:03pm |
Hello all:
I've been periodically popping about this board when I get a chance. The one thing that I love is that there are so many varied personalities, experiences, and HONEST opinions. If you don't mind, I have a favor to ask.
As I have posted before, I have been OLD for about 2 1/2 years with some success. Well I have been back on for a few weeks now, and am getting very little responses compared to my previous experiences. I orginially started with my old profile from last fall. And then tweaked it a couple of times. I have 4 pictures posted- 2 from last week, 1 from Decemeber, and 1 from August. I'm now definitely thinner, cuter, and I think my profile is more upbeat than in the past- but still very few men are reaching out to me and even fewer responding to my winks/teases/emails.
I normally like to preserve my anonymity on these message boards, but I'm going to break my own rule today. I have a profile up on match, called sarasmile1976. I have the same profile up on another site and then I believe old profiles up on a few other sites that I rarely visit.
What I was hoping for is, if you all wouldn't mind, could you please take a look at my profile and help me figure out what I'm doing wrong or right? I am open to any and all constructive criticism.
Thank you! I appreciate any insight you might be able to provide!

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Overall I like your profile. I have just two comments...
1. Eliminate this line: "Please don't be a liar, condescending, committment phobic, or have a secret family" You've already mentioned that you're looking for someone honest. The truth is - dishonest people will ignore this request anyway. Actually...pointing out this request makes it appear that you've had
Hmmm... I like your profile a lot, but there are a few things I might think about changing.
One picture makes it look like you have a heck of a scar down your arm. What's up with that? I'm not saying it's bad or anything, but personally I think scars are kind of cool. (I am, after all, a juvenile guy. LOL)
That said, there might be some guys who see that and don't like it- perhaps a different picture would be better.
I think you have a great smile, you don't overdo makeup, nice hair. The pictures are clear enough and big enough that you can be seen. They are a little repetitive, though- same look in all of them. Remember LG's rule of pictures- at a minimum, have a head shot, a candid shot (doing something, not posed) and a body shot.
If you're not willing to disclose your own income, unless a high income is really important to you (ie a deal-breaker) I'd dump your "income requirements" for your dates. Even guys who make that much money might get turned off by someone who seems like they're a golddigger; it can be a yellow or even a red flag for some guys.
Yes, you're going to be a lawyer, yes, they make good money so it shouldn't be an issue... doesn't matter, by saying you want a guy making over 75 large, you sound like you want money. If it's a deal-breaker, well, okay. At least you're honest in that case! :)
The text about you is pretty good! I'd drop any/all reference to being a "perfectionist"- those people are scarier than clowns to me. LOL No, not really, but it is a thought.
I'd drop the bit about LA guys and the drive for a couple of reasons. First, aren't there several hundred thousand people living in OC? You can find one there. Second, if a guy is into you, he'll make the drive. Third, your search radius for your match already will tell guys who're a bit of a drive away that you're okay with dating someone that far.
Saying you want "honest" twice reeks of "I got lied to by a scumbag guy who was married or something like that". Drop the second time you mention "honest". For that matter, drop the "liar" in the "don't be" section. Having that kind of thing in there screams "I GOT LIED TO AND AM NOT OVER IT" in a profile, IMO.
Overall, I think it's a good profile, and I'm surprised that someone as smart, funny, and hot as you isn't getting plenty of page views, winks, and emails. It might be that you are relatively insistent on the religion thing- how much of a deal breaker is that for you?
Oh yeah... don't bother seeing the "Friday Night Lights" movie. The book was much better and the movie, IMO, wasn't that good. I like Billy Bob in general but this movie... yawn.
Haven't seen the profile but I gotta say that if I'm making $75,000 a year, I want to date a guy making right around the same.
Lisa
I ditto that! I want someone to make at the very least....as much money as I do. I tend to be attracted to the "manly, hypertestosterone filled" guy. They typically have issues if I made more money than them anyway.
Could be why I am still single? Go figure?
Jodie
http://tickers.ticke
Thanks for your imput. :)
I purposefully put that line in about lying, committment phobic, secret family because of some past negative experiences and wanted to ward off those people in advance. But you make a very good point. The dishonest ones are going to pay any attention to the line anyway. Also, now that I think more about it. Perhaps it looks like I have "baggage" that I haven't dealt with.
Thanks for the comments. I'm going to take out that line.
Thank you for all of your comments.
First, the scar. Yes I have a big ol' scar on my left arm. I've had it for 16 years and I usually forget that it's even there until someone mentions it or I notice people staring at it. To be honest, when I first posted that pictue over the summer I didn't even notice the scar, because it is just part of my body, like my arm is. I have had a few people ask me about it, and my thinking is that I have a scar, it's part of me. It's not a big deal to me. But if it is going to turn off a guy, maybe it's better it turns them off now, because would i really want to spend time with someone whose grossed out by the scar. I will definitely think about what your wrote though. Haven't made a decision on what to do about the pic yet.
Second, I am removing the double honesty request and please don't be liar, condescending,etc. line. You all hit the nail on the head with that.
Third, the money issue. I am a student right now, so I have no income (other than $ from my family), which is why I left it blank. How do I say this delicately? I come from a very very successful family. I'm going to be a lawyer, so I will be making some money. I want someone that understands the lifestyle I live and can be a part of it. I know some people say $ isn't everything and it definitely isn't. But I've done the whole "I'm in love with a poor unambitious guy" and love is all that matters- and it turned out it wasn't. Plus, I'm still an old fashioned girl at heart and while I will be able to financially take care of myself, I would still like a man that can take care of me.
Fourth, yes religion is DEFINITELY a deal breaker for me. Unless they are willing to convert. Which is why I am a paying member for a jewish dating website.
Oh, the driving thing. You're right about that one too. I put it in because most of the profiles I like tend to be from guys in the LA area. But I get what you're saying. If he's really that into me- a little driving won't matter.
Did I forget to address anything else? lol
Thanks again for taking the time to offer your opinions!!
There was actual an article about this in New York magazine this month. I believe it was called "The New Goldigger."
Basically, the author felt there is this new phenomona where successful, ambitious women who are making their own money ($100K +) are only looking for men of equal or greater status. Perhaps I'm biased because I already think this way, but is this really a new way of thinking?
You concentrate too much on chick chatter. Stuff only other women like to read -- or rather stuff they think men are impressed and interested in.
You'd greatly benefit by picking out one or two things that you really enjoy doing and focussing on them. There are a bunch of things you have listed but they are of the cliche sort that nearly everyone writes about.
Luckily your photos are great because I'll say that what you've done is use your profile to put yourself into the Ms Match USA Beauty contest.
Don't worry too much about the up and down trend of Match traffic - I agree with your profile about constantly tweaking the text (I wouldn't talk about any aspect of it though - it tends to put you in the 'professional dater' category imho).
I don't know enough about what you like to do and who you are looking for. As an example here's what I have used in my online profile. I've tried to slant it to my target audience of people +/- 2 years of my age with kids. It's obviously not a great example - but serves to illustrate the use of specifics (show rather than tell). I'll typically pull the entire profile once per month and replace it with the latest stupid idea that I have.
About me and who I'd like to date
Isn’t it amazing how kids spot a tiny pack of gum inside a bag of groceries, spend 2 hours at gymnastics without breaks – but they can’t remember their hat and gloves or take two steps inside the mall without an emergency dash to the bathroom. Someday I’ll write Raising Kids for Dummies. It’ll discuss the REAL challenges -- like the "Rule of Elementary School Event Parking" - where 875 families race SUVs, Minivans and Station Wagons in competition for 5 parking spots. Even though it doesn’t seem like it - life is more than kids and endless searches for a clean bathroom or lost articles of clothing. During my off week you'll find me walking or hiking (I'd take the kids but it would be called carrying). I just completed a group hike of the entire Appalachian Trail in CT. A year ago on Monadnock we saw a moose, a stray snake, a deer and one set of badly decomposed men's underpants. To unwind I read books or listen to audiotapes from Brian Tracy or Wayne Dyer. I love dining at the Max restaurants or attending shows at the Bushnell or Oakdale (this summer was Hall and Oates, Barney and The Wiggles). A few years ago Cirque du Soleil in Hartford was amazing. Over the summer we had a blast at the land of the $60 per person character breakfast (aka Disney). My Match is a kid-friendly adventurer, who’s not in or just getting out of a relationship, has a sense of humor and is willing to help write some more adventures. If she was skilled at un-tangling Barbie’s hair from the power seat adjustment of a Ford Explorer -- that would be a nice bonus.
NGOL said "One picture makes it look like you have a heck of a scar down your arm. What's up with that?"
Tacky..Tacky..Tacky.
I didn't even notice it. However CG-I loved your response. It is just simply a part of who you are. Excellent.
http://tickers.ticke
(shrug)
Which part was tacky? The part where I offered her my honest, true opinion (which, BTW, she'd asked for- check thread topic title); or the part where I casually asked her about something I'd noticed in the profile?
She does have a scar. It will be noticed. She asked for opinions, she got one, and she got an honest question that she didn't seem to mind a bit and which SHE understood wasn't meant to insult- it was just part of the things I noticed, so I asked.
I'm sorry you were offended by something that wasn't to you or about you.
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