What should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
What should I do?
11
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 9:36am

SO, I got an icebreaker on Sunday from someone that I really like (by his profile anyway) and he's asking for a photo (I don't have one on my profile yet)

I really want to send a picture, but a very good one, and I haven't gotten the opportunity yet to do that. I am hoping that by waiting until the weekend, that isn't going to be toooo long a wait! It really IS because I honestly don't have one yet.... and I just don't feel like getting all dressed up to take the picture for no reason, when I truly do have an event Saturday to attend and will be getting all dolled up for that. I just despise wearing makeup and getting all dressed up unless there's somewhere to go. So anyway, Saturday is the perfect opportunity.

BUT, here's the thing. He sent the message Sunday. Is waiting to reply on Saturday too late? Should I send a quick email back saying that I got his message and will be forwarding a photo this weekend? The thing is, in my profile I say that I will email a photo (which I *will*), but now is it coming across like I lied because I don't have one YET?

Or should I just be unavailable/offline until Saturday when I can send it?

Or should I just bite the bullet and get dressed up with nowhere to go, just to get the picture done with? blegh :-P

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 9:51am

I wouldn't change your plans for one guy who sent an icebreaker (as opposed to an email).

Email him back and let him know you'll have a photo to send this weekend. Then ask him a couple questions based on his profile as you normally would. He may not answer until he gets the photo though.

And PLEASE keep in the front of your mind that "really liking" someone based on their profile is getting your hopes up too high.

I would also note that you should have more than one photo (head shot, full length and a more "candid" shot), including a more casual one than it sounds like the one from this weekend will be. So there's no need to get "dressed up" for all of your photos.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 9:53am

Hi city gal~

Just a thought here....perhaps, if you are only going to post one photo to begin with, then you should not take one where you are "all dolled up". If you do not normally wear make-up or get dressed up, or do your hair then why would you want to post a photo that looks nothing like you do normally?

I would take that oh-so-important number of THREE photos. LG and everyone else here supports the idea of having at least three photos (I think a candid one, maybe something more posed, and then a full body shot are the "requirements".)

For example, on my profile I have a head shot from a formal family photo we did, a candid head shot of me goofing off with my dad where my smile is a lot sillier (but more natural!) than the family pic, and finally I have a pic of me in my baseball hat, t-shirt, jeans, and flipflops with the dog. SOOOOO not glamourous, but what I look like practically everyday. I want the guys looking at my profile to see ME...not some fabricated, fantasy picture of me. Otherwise, hell, I'd put those bikini pics from my 20's in there and only shots of me from weddings I was in with my hair all done and in a pretty dress (yes, thank god, I haven't had any awful bridesmaid's dress experiences-lol.)

I think you should take some photos now of how you normally look. Be clean and smile lots, but don't get "all dolled up". From your post that doesn't sound like you normally look and why would you want to do any false advertising?

Good luck with the photos! I am sure whatever you choose will come out great!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 10:41am

I completely agree with both Sheri and xrivergirl. Getting all dressed up for something and slathered up in makeup (that you don't like) is not you! You're misrepresenting yourself there. Guys might be thinking they are getting some high maintenance chick when really you are just a no nonsense girl. So wash your face, make your hair look nice, put on an outfit you feel comfortable in and have a friend take some pictures of you now. You can take some this weekend when you are dressed up too as one of your several options, but make sure you get these of the person you really are.

I also agree with Sheri - you read this guy's profile only. Get to know him before you get too jazzed up about it. Tell him you are working on the pictures but in the meantime would like to know some other things about him. You might wind up finding out that he is either a) worth getting dolled up for or b) not worth your time!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 11:03am
Okay, so it turns out that I got an email not an icebreaker. Sorry for the confusion, I still gotta get the terminology down pat. Is there any difference in your advice based on that?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 11:09am

No, not really, except that shows a bit more interest in your profile on his part. But I'd still advise proceeding the same way.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 11:11am

I've had this happen many times. People have sent me winks or emails without a photo. In general I will not correspond with them until they send or post a photo. Whether they post the photo that day or in a week makes no difference to me.


I would not worry about how fast you can get a photo online.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 8:50pm

>>I just despise wearing makeup and getting all dressed up unless there's somewhere to go.<<

Then why would you send him a picture of you wearing makeup and all dressed up? Who do you want to be? Do you want to be really YOU, or do you want to be a phony?

I say send him whatever picture you DO have, one that shows the real you, and if he doesn't like it move on. Be yourself- and if yourself is almost never seen in a dress, don't send him a picture of you in a dress.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 9:35pm
Honestly? Because I totally prefer hanging out in my pajamas on a Sunday until like 1PM earliest. So should I send a photo of me in my pajamas?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 10:09pm
Now you're being silly! :-) Put on something comfortable that you look good in and take a picture. What do you go to work in? What do you NORMALLY wear when going out with friends? Just casual and normal - but PJs are probably out!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Wed, 02-02-2005 - 12:56am

>>So should I send a photo of me in my pajamas?<<

LOL Um, well, okay. Let's aim just a *little* higher than that. :) Maybe you should have whatever it is you wear when you leave the house to hang with buds or go to work or hit the mall for some shopping.

Then again... are your pajamas really sexy? Some guys would dig that. ;)

No, no, no, just kidding. :)

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