Online dating advice
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Online dating advice
| Tue, 02-01-2005 - 10:27am |
Can somebody help me please?
I am a young 40 year old and recently widowed. A good friend suggested I look into online dating as a way to develop new friendships, and in time perhaps more (I'm not yet ready for anything more than male company).
I have joined a website called Quechup.com and have met someone I'm interested in on there, but get the distinct feeling that he would like things to progress at a rate quicker than I am prepared for. He now wants to meet for a first date and I'm unsure if I should meet him or not. At the same time I would be disappointed if I lost him, silly though that probably sounds.
Has anybody had a similar experience with online dating?
Thanks
Jane

Hi Jane!
Pianoguy isn't familiar with Quechup.com, but perhaps some of our other OLD regulars are?
You sound like a terrific lady who wants to gradually 'get comfortable' dating again.
Hi Jane - welcome to the board.
I agree with pianoguy in that it is important to take things at a pace you are comfortable with, but you will find that everyone out here supports meeting someone in person sooner rather than later. Emailing and phoning set up unrealistic expectations and do not allow you to know the real person you are communicating with. Only by meeting in person will you get to know them. This first meeting does not have to be heavy and if it is better for you - don't think of it as a date but more as an interview! Meet for lunch or coffee in a public place and set a time limit on how long you will spend with him. Once you meet him in person, you can better judge how compatible you are and whether or not you even want to see him a second time (you would be surprised how often online infatuation/admiration of someone is cured by an actual meeting). Once you meet is the time to start taking things at your pace but meet him as soon as possible to ensure that you don't build him or the relationship up to unrealistic levels.