Is it true? Most OLDers aren't serious?
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Is it true? Most OLDers aren't serious?
| Tue, 02-01-2005 - 9:57pm |
I just read that in a different thread here! Is that true??? :(
*sniff* that's very disappointing if that's true. Has that been your experience for the most part? I'm talking about the ones that make it to corresponding and even meeting in person.... are most of them truly not serious? What's it about then? Just about the thrill of meeting someone new? I don't get it. Why would someone want to go through the trouble? Am I missing something? Am I totally naive about this? I was thinking that most people *were* serious about it.
Yeah, and everyone on my planet is generous, warm, loving, and kind hearted to boot....

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Unfortunately, 8 out of 10 aren't serious. Especially on the man side of it. I have recognized that alot of guys do the OLD thing to "increase their chances of getting some" if you know what I mean?? But, you have to hang in there with the process. You may meet some guys who are worth it but it takes awhile as I am finding out. I have had tons of emails, but only met two guys in person and neither men are interesting at all. But, I am going to keep trying. Take care.
GT33
I think that there's tons of people on BOTH sides who aren't serious. They're shopping for the BBD. The hungry-for-babies women in their mid to late 30s who are mostly looking for suitable sperm donors. The out-for-booty men (of ALL ages) who are just looking to carve a couple more notches in the bedpost.
Sigh.
That said, there's plenty of perfectly good, kind, caring folks who are doing it for the right reasons. The trick is finding them, and then... if you're lucky... being good-looking enough that they want to answer your email. :)
A decent number of onliners are there to:
1. Chat/email (these are newbies or the ones who have like an hour a week to truly date - you can usually recognize them by the excessive use of smilies, exclamation points or cute abbreviations like "LOL")
2. Stuck on one or more ex's - and they are online primarily to make an ex jealous (either an online ex or real life) or because their friends suggested it would be "good for them" to get out and date other people - a decent percent of "NEW" profiles fall into this category.
3. Make someone else happy (be able to say they are TRYING to date)
4. Look for a meal / coffee companion to combat loneliness
5. Ego stroke- receiving/sending happy emails
6. Ego stroke- juggling multiple people/meetings
7. Research for a bigger/better deal (hidden profiles/ no picture profiles are good bets for this)
8. Sex (you'll recognize these people by their poses in the profiles and the wording they use).
9. Search for mr. hotty who wouldn't give them the time of day in real life but they believe magically will sweep them off their feet online as if in some magical "Pretty Women" fairytale dream - and then complain when Mr. Hottie suddenly heads for the hills after collecting his prize the first time (wherever there's a mr hottie there's usually one or more mrs. hotties who already got sick of him).
10. Live some type of fairy tale romance (which typically wears off about 10 days before their initial 30 day subscription does).
Sadly, most of the time you'll be swept up in their social experiment unless you learn to recognize the signs.
This is why most experienced online people will pull the rip cord and say "NEXT" very quickly versus trying to analyze the behavior of someone who is really just a stranger.
FANTASTIC information, LG!!! and NGOL too!!!
Bookmarking this thread....
Unfortunately, I'm also finding that most guys online aren't really serious. I'm on Match and have gotten 80 emails and 150 winks in just 4 weeks and out of that I've only emailed/talked to maybe 10-15 and out of that number, though they say they want to meet and hang out, no plans yet.
I mean the 5 that I'm actually talking to right now have yet to set a definite date for ust to meet and I've already been stood uo twice in one month. It's like they like meeting new people, but want to keep all options open and keep everything very casual. I haven't had a date from Match yet.
WHOLLY CRAP that's a boatload of people. You must be a frekin hot tamale!
I think I'd be in information overload if that happened! I'm having trouble keeping up with just a handful....
Okay, I am not talking about you with this next sentence AT ALL, but.... Perhaps that's why people don't take it too seriously..... because they feel like there are hundreds out there, and some of them may also literally feel like they have to go through the hundreds "just to make sure". And also, perhaps some people who have never gotten a real wink IRL, and are now getting all this attention, are letting it go to their heads.
methinks there should be a newspaper column somewhere about this.
I give people one chance to get to a meeting. After that it's "NEXT".
The word "NEXT" is your best friend as it pertains to online dating. Use it often or you'll get stuck in these endless email, im, phone deals that drag forever and culminate in a lukewarm (at best) person to person meet.
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Citygal - You've hit on something that's been discussed a lot here. People (some of whom appear to be "professional daters") who are so overwhelmed by the sheer volume of potential dates on these sites, they simply can't make up their minds and God forbid, settle on one person and see how it works out (for longer than a month or so - actually a month is starting to seem incredibly long to me in OLD world - I feel I hit the lottery if I get a second date, lol).
And newbies are the worst. I've become leery of them because most have "kid in candy store" syndrome. Fortunately that usually wears off rather quickly.
Most Newbies get tons of responses to their profile initially. It wanes as time goes on. That is what sort of sucks. You get so much attention that you lose prospective. Once you gain your ground, there is noone left.
Jodie
http://tickers.ticke
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