Book "Curse of the Singles Table"
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Book "Curse of the Singles Table"
| Wed, 02-02-2005 - 11:50am |
I am reading this book right now and enjoying it - especially her several chapters of her online dating escapades. Makes me feel right at home. The part I really do NOT like is her going on and on about how awful it is to be a single person over the age of 30 and how "you must be thinking I am a troll or emotionally/mentally defective because I went 3 whole years without sex". Ummm, no. I know plenty of wonderful women that have dry spells. It doesn't make them ugly or horrible people. She seems to always be justifying about how everyone must be thinking how awful she is since she went so long. Pretty annoying considering I am in a bit of a drought right now myself and do not consider myself a troll nor an emotional/mental defective! I kind of resent her implying that anyone that has gone or is going through this must have something wrong with them. Maybe that will be the big realization at the end, that there really is nothing wrong, but I don't know! :-)

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My friend in Chicago is about to turn 33, do you recommend this book for a birthday gift if you say parts of it are depressing? She’s single. If not another book that she would enjoy relating to women and dating but not necessarily a self help but more humor based and reality based?
Thx,
SP
>> Ummm, no. I know plenty of wonderful women that have dry spells. It doesn't make them ugly or horrible people.
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I kind of resent her implying that anyone that has gone or is going through this must have something wrong with them.<<
I read about this lady. The unfortunate thing for her is that by being so open about how long it went, it made a very minor celebrity of the man that ended her celebacy.
FWIW, I don't think *she* is saying that there's something wrong with someone if they have a long dry spell; I think she's saying that she didn't like how other people would treat her as though there must be something wrong with her. In other words, she feels the same way as you; she doesn't like people treating her like she's defective somehow.
And unfortunately, people DO sometimes treat us that way if we're in a dry spell. I had a guy at work ask me the other day how long it'd been since I "got some". When I said it'd been a while, he said "you must be screwed up, if I were single like you I'd be getting it all the time!"
"Um, no, you're about 100 pounds overweight and kind of a jerk, too, pal, and the only reason your wife sticks around and has sex with you is because she's lazy and doesn't want to work or reduce her income by divorcing your dumb a**!"
That's what I SHOULD have said. Instead, I just ignored him as best I could. I'd rather be single and not getting any (well, not getting any with another person in the room, if you know what I mean) than be fat, dumb, and married to a mean nasty lazy woman like him.
>>(well, not getting any with another person in the room, if you know what I mean)
Way TMI
(now that I found the correct thread...)
Do not worry NGOL!!!! I have your back!!! You hold LG still and I will beat him upside the head with B.O.B until he cries uncle. (Not tooooo visciously, though...if I hurt/break B.O.B. then I am in biiiiigggggg trouble. Ack.)
Oh, LG! Ya know I love ya more than my luggage!!! :)
~xrg
Edited 2/2/2005 10:37 pm ET ET by xrivergirl
Agreed lg, thanks! But thanks for sharing, NGOL.
As for the book, I think that actually is an appropriate take on it. I have about 50 pages left (planning to finish at lunch today - I was too sleepy to finish last night) but I can actually see what you are saying NGOL (believe it or not). She is trying to escape the stigma all the time of being "the celibate woman without a date" (the label that her friends and family put on her) by online dating, speed dating (one of the funniest parts of the book), volunteering around the world and going on monster bike rides. I'll be interested to see how she meets the man that ends "The Streak" as she calls it (so if anyone knows, don't tell me!) and how this turns out in general. I already know that she is married (from reading her biography blurb on the back). Overall, it has been a good and interesting read. Very quick too - I've been reading maybe 30 minutes a day and I started this week and am almost done.
I read this book when it first came out and loved it. I actually found it comforting to know I wasn't the only woman who has had long celibacy streaks. And I thought it was brave of her to write about it because I've gotten a lot of the same reactions from people that she did ("it's been HOW long???").
I had either just started OLD or was still thinking about it, when I read the book (can't remember). She addresses an issue that comes up again and again on this board -- one of her first OLD guys she spent so much time emailing and phoning that when they did meet it was a huge letdown. That seems to be the #1 lesson newbies have to learn the hard way, based on what I read daily on this board.
So I guess I learned two OLD lessons for the price of one :)
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