I've lost my sense of humor....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
I've lost my sense of humor....
25
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 6:15pm

and I need all of you to help me get it back. Maybe it's the time of year that's getting to me....and I get like this every year at this time. I have my birthday (which I HATE), crappy Valentine's Day (if I have to hear ONE more lovey-dovey commercial I think I'm gonna vomit) and the anniversary of my Dad's death all in the same week. And NOTHING on OLD going on.....not ONE prospect.

Jeezum, I am going to be Forty. Freakin'. Nine. next week. Am I going to have to do this for the rest of my life (what's left of it)? What was downright funny in my 20's and mildly amusing in my 30's isn't even VAGUELY amusing at 49. If someone told me twenty years ago that I'd be doing this crap (not just OLD, but dating in general) at my age, I would have told them they were crazy. I feel old, undesireable, washed-up, unwanted and pathetic. I'm tired of being treated like I'm 10 miles of bad road or something. If I could (which I can't), I'd repeat my 30's in a NY minute....those were the best years of my life. Sorry guys and gals, but that's how I feel and if I can't say it here, where can I say it? If it's this bad now, what's gonna happen when I turn 50?

I know some of you will probably say I should take a break. I agree. Unfortunately, it's kind of like passing a bad accident on the road.....you know you shouldn't look, you don't want to look, but somehow the pull of looking is too powerful and then you're sorry you did.

OK, sniffle, sniffle, pass the Vitamin P (Prozac) and the Kleenex and I'll be fine in a month or so.

ABM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 6:39pm

Oh Ann....I'm sorry you're feeling so down these days. I'm sure it's not an easy month for you. While it might be tough, I think it's amazing that you're willing to put yourself out there and try and date. I know of a few women who are so afraid of getting back into the dating game that they just won't do it.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2004
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 6:50pm

Hi Ann - I seem to identify with a lot of your posts, and this one also. My birthday is coming up as well, the 19th. I always get down at this time of year. I live in MI, so the winters are really depressing. I suggest tanning! I just started up again and it always makes me feel better! I know it's not good for your skin, but I figure a couple times a week can't be too bad. Also, paint your nails - toenails too. Sometimes it helps to feel pretty whether someone will see them or not!

~dremer

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 7:34pm

Hi Ladies,

I think this is Very normal; people have different times of the year that are tough for them, so take heart, we are All in this together! I do not care for December; bad weather, spend a lot of money I do not Have, crazy word sked...and Anne, that is why this month is hard for you--Past and present stresses, both. There IS something called "seasonal affective disorder" (SAD, no kidding!) for those who live where the sun is not that evident for a season, or months.

Add to this the fact that you Know you are a great lady, but we are letting these Date Dogs be our barometer. No more! I think life is frustration with margaritas in between, and I look at it like that daily, and it helps! Exercise is a great way out of this, as well, and when you feel great, look great, you can tell these people to "Kiss This!" and move on down the road.

Forecast yourself into a better time...whatever month is your favorite. Mine is June...ahhh, me, poolside with new magazines and wine coolers-Yessssssssssss! It is chemical and mental ,and I think OLD adds "physical" to it--"Good Grief"!

Hang on, Snoopy!

Let's plan a trip to Cozumel, I will get us great hotel rates!

Something to look forward to!

truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 7:39pm

ABM!!! ABM!!!

I am so sorry that things feel all crappy for you right now. Ugh. I hear you about how this time of year can be tough enough...let alone if you add to that a sad anniversary. Now for your birthday, I will accept how this can be a tough one, but I am a birthday lover and believe wholeheartedly in birthday week or month. Not just one day. So start celebrating YOU. You are so cute and funny in your interactions with us here on the boards, you never make fun of a like-minded dog person who sleeps (ok, SPOONS) her dog, and you always have nice words in your posts for everyone.

I agree with dremer....open some wine (if you partake) and paint those toesies! If you have the funds perhaps you could schedule a nice treat the week of your birthday? Maybe a massage or a facial? Or ask a friend to accompany you to that new chic place for lunch and (gasp) get tipsy in the middle of the day!!! Take your birthday off from work....Send YOURSELF a birthday card full of lovey-dovey stuff. If you feel guilty pampering yourself do what I just did....send the pups to the groomers!!! (I let Maggie have a spa day yesterday since I have no one to spoil and a spa day for me would be waaaaayyyy more expensive!!!). She looks great and I feel like a good dog mom. I know you take care of Momzilla, but do you have any family that for one night could help while you check into a nice or cheap or fancy or crappy hotel/inn with a good book and a nice whirlpool tub?

Ok, so if none of that seems like it can lift the veil of yuckiness then here is my last suggestion...you know what's coming......put on some music (Earth Wind and Fire), shake your ass, swing your elbows, wag your head and do the "I ROCK" dance!!! Come on, sistah!!!! Shake yo' thing, show me whacha got!!!! :)

Chin up. Go ahead...take a break from OLD. MAybe you can beat my 23 day record. Ugh.

hugs and smiles,
XRG

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 7:50pm

God, you crack me up! Now I'm dancin'! LOL

That date better go wicked good for you tomorrow (at least me thinks I read where you have a lunch date tomorrow, right?). Just remember - challenge him to get to know you, not the other way around. Of course, that would depend on whether you really want him to....lol.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 7:51pm

PS~if you run out of vitamin P I have some vitamin E (effexor). ;)

We chemically challenged have to stick together, ya know!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 8:06pm

Man, I hate reading this. You are such a special woman and it breaks my heart that you feel this way. The time of year, OLD in itself (and maybe mostly) and all the anniversaries are understandably difficult. I am going to send you something tomorrow (from my work computer) that I read from time to time when I get down. Maybe it will help you get through this snag.

Is there something you've always wanted to do but never have? Maybe this would be a good time to start it. When I turned 30 I wrote out 50 things - no matter how wild and crazy - I wanted to do before I was six feet under. They happen little by little each year and some have changed (like there is no way I'm skydiving) but they help me concentrate on other stuff besides who's not by my side.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 8:18pm

JHoov,

Nothing you write ever sounds stupid! Thanks for the kind words...that really makes me feel better. Funny, the other day one of my coupled friends remarked on how much "fun" I must be having on "all these dates". Fun? Who's having fun? If someone's having fun will they please let me know? LOL!

I appreciate your thoughts and I know (at least I hope) that it's only a temporary thing and it will pass.

ABM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 8:25pm

Hi Dremer,

You may have hit the nail on the head. I live in upstate New York and although we have sun, it's about 15 degrees. My doctor (and my brother the doctor) would probably slap me upside the head, but maybe I should go with that tanning idea.

As I write this, I am looking down at my fingernails and uh, I think I'll pass on the manicure. I haul wood 3 times a day and you can imagine what my nails look like. A manicure wouldn't even be worth it until.....maybe May?

By the way, happy upcoming birthday!

ABM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 8:39pm

Cupcake,

I LIKE that....life is frustration with margaritas in between! I knew I could count on you to make me smile :)

October is my favorite month. Here, in the northeast, it's crisp and cool and the foliage is magnificent. The air smells like apples and pumpkins and spice. Just thinking about it is making me feel better!

I think you made another valid point. I don't look and feel my best, so instead of my saying "Kiss this", they're saying it to me. About 2 years ago, I lost 48 pounds. Since then, I've put some back on (well, OK 30 of it) and I look like #%^$. I've made a commitment to myself to get it back off, which includes daily exercise. I've never been a big fan of exercise so I am forcing myself to do it, but the weight is coming off.........S L O W L Y.

ABM

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