I Had a Second Date!! Alert the Media!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
I Had a Second Date!! Alert the Media!!
4
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 9:25am

Sorry for all the exclamation points but second dates lately have been as rare for me as hen's teeth (cupcake, is that a Southern expression? Seems all the goods ones originate down South :).
He's very nice and seems totally into me, which of course after only two dates, raises red flags for me (like the Ghost Train should be pulling into the station any day now). He was calling me every day, sometimes twice a day (once at work, then later at home). I dropped hints that I'm not really a phone person but that didn't register so I finally came right out and told him that when I get home from work, I like to veg and NOT talk on the phone. I actually don't mind being interrupted at work :)
I'm taking it slowly with him, and trying to get him to do the same, but this guy wants a girlfriend in the worst way. And what bugs me is I can't help thinking anyone would do. It's funny but I seem to get the extremes - either the premature ghosters or the Cling-Ons.
And THEN - to echo the topic of another thread - this week, 2 (count'em 2) ghosts have blasted from the past. One, we had emailed, planned on meeting, then I got sick (to echo yet another thread below). When I got better, I sent him an email, got no reply and moved on. Turns out (he says) he was sick and just recovered. I'm not sure I'm still interested enough. I guess that's another bad side to delaying that first meeting; nothing is at stake so it's easy for either person to say, oh forget it.

Now for Ghost #2 - not really a ghost, since the day after our one date (or meeting) two months ago, he did contact me, by email, to say nice things, but that ultimately we weren't a match. Now, this week, he emails me to say he can't stop thinking about me and maybe he was too hasty. I agreed to meet with him next Wed. but am thinking of cancelling. Not sure I'm interested enough, and suspect his BBD didn't work out. I also remember LG saying if you hook up with someone who rejected you before, you're just giving them a chance to reject you again. I'm on the fence with this one, though leaning towards cancelling.
I can't help but think all these recent ghost sightings have something to do with Valentine's Day approaching.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 9:33am

"I also remember LG saying if you hook up with someone who rejected you before, you're just giving them a chance to reject you again."


I have to disagree with LG on this one. Sometimes you already have too many contacts going on. Sometimes you do pass over something that could turn out to be good. Sometimes it is just bad timing. I will always give someone a second chance. Now going back repeatedly after that can be just torture. Sure it may not work out the second time, but if you do not take a chance to find something good, then you never will.

Michele

Michele
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 10:31am

on the flip side of the coin, I am currently in the process of being stood up for the first meeting. stupid a$$.

anyway, good for you. sort of gives me hope that PERHAPS some day this OLD thing will work, but it ain't lookin pretty so far....

ah well, who gives a hoot's arse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 11:21am

I'm glad you had a second date!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 12:32am

Hooray on Date 2!

It sounds like he might just step up to the plate and bat again! Cool that!

Yes, "hen's teeth" does originate "down here"--actually, hens DO have small, prehensile bumps inside their beaks to break seed and corn, they could be considered teeth. Can you tell I was FFA Sweetheart? (stands for "Future Farmers of America") I prefer these two sayings from Texas:

1. "He acted like the Nothbound end of a Southbound mule." See: man who stood up one of our Own tonight--he is a mutt but*!

2. "Don't let your hummingbird mind overcome your alligator as*."--which means THINK before you open your mouth, ;you Are responsible for the Overdrive gear on that thing!

My second dater(cute lawyer) went Wayyyy South on me, and no idea why. I thought I had gone off my 'usual man m.o." and overlooked the fact that he was not as tall, had as much outgoing personality...ok, he was kind of a nerd, but I thought he was cute and fun and Wow, he SURE seemed to like me, and I let him know gently that I enjoyed his company as well.

Today, in a fit of utter stupidity, I thought maybe he was just being shy not calling all week (see "hummingbird mind",above), so I emailed him a cool email I had gotten from a friend that had great photos on it. The note with it, like me, short and sweet: Hope this brings you a smile with your lunch. Awwwwww...so Freakin' Hallmark I may yak bits, huh? I then went shopping...four hours later, NO response! They say you have to have closure, and I just had a Vault door slam in my little face! Ouchies!

Ding! Next! had another one I have written this week call me about 9pm, and he asked me out for Monday night. Steee--rike!

hang in there, don't email or call Him too much and most of all, Have Fun!

Truly,
Cupcake
(p.s. CG, we are known here in this great state to Naturalize folks who were Born to be Texans...wanna apply?)