Most important tip you'd give a newbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Most important tip you'd give a newbie
5
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 12:01pm

What's the single most important tip that you'd give a new online dater?


If you are getting good results (lots of contacts from quality people) - what do you think you are doing right that is bringing quality people to you?


What's the single biggest mistake you've made while online dating?


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 1:05pm

Important tip:

Linda
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 1:07pm

Hi LG,

Hmmmm...."quality people"...not so sure about that yet, but I Am optimistic! I think the responses to my profile came from:
a. a friendly photo--not trying to 'be' anything or sell sex, money, cars,etc. Men with photos by their 'ride' turn me off; I TOO can go to a rich neighbor's and Pose with his BMW 400 series! :)
b. Positive attitude--one that says I am happy, so can make someone Else happy--I just read yesterday that men want a woman (same for other gender,I guess?)who does not NEED a man. I do not Need, I DESIRE one.

My Biggest mistake is thinking with my heart and Not letting my brains/intuition/better sense take the lead. Expect Nothing except a nice time and a bite to eat--anything else is just icing on the Cupcake! :)

Truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 1:16pm

What's the single most important tip that you'd give a new online dater?

*** Count on ghosting no matter how well you think it goes. ***

If you are getting good results (lots of contacts from quality people) - what do you think you are doing right that is bringing quality people to you?

*** Wouldn't be here if I was getting good results, so I don't believe it exists. ***

What's the single biggest mistake you've made while online dating?

*** Believing a married man. ***

Lisa

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 5:21pm

Keep your hopes up... but don't get too hopeful about any one person. If you are lucky enough to meet someone you like, take things slow. Assume they are seeing others and keep your options open too until you have the exclusivity talk. Get to know if someone is worth pursuing a relationship with BEFORE you get attached and "caught up" in it.

People disappear for no reason, many folks you write to will never write back, you'll get some messages from losers and perverts. It's a weird world out there and it takes a little getting used to.

My biggest mistake so far was getting attached to someone just on email. We exchanged many long, in depth letters for a few weeks and inevitably, we were not at all compatible in person.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 6:20pm

Hi LG.

LG: "What's the single most important tip that you'd give a new online dater?"

Don't be impressed with yourself when you get 300 emails in the first 3 days of being new on a system; it'll die off and when it does... you'll realize you've bypassed some very good potential mates.

LG: "If you are getting good results (lots of contacts from quality people) - what do you think you are doing right that is bringing quality people to you?"

I (now) ALWAYS meet (meet is the operative word) only quality people. My online experience has given me the knowledge to sift through the undesirables. I don't think that's unique to me. I've read enough posts from all of our board regulars to know we all possess the same sense. Now... ask me why it's so difficult to have two people connect... and I have to shrug my shoulders in ignorance.

LG: "What's the single biggest mistake you've made while online dating?"

Over-excitement on my part when I meet someone I really like. I've read enough posts here to know it comes across (to the woman) as if I were some dweeb who has never dated a woman before. In reality... it's like a breath of freshly-scented air to meet someone that you... or better said... I... connect with. I'm working on containing my enthusiasm.