Do people mean what they say anymore?
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| Sat, 02-05-2005 - 3:53pm |
Is it me or are people getting wishy washier as I get older? I moved to Minnesota from California in 2000 excited to reconnect with my high school girlfriends. All of them would say at one time or another in the four years I was there "yeah, I'll meet ya here or there" and not show up and if I hadn't called in one instance, I would have been at a resort all by myself!
And also I haven't been able to count on a man for anything in about six years. Sure I've been involved and had pseudo boyfriends (now that I look back) but nothing as far as any length of time or depth of feelings. They say this, they say that, they're in love blah blah blah, ya get to pick out a ring, "I'll be your friend" and then they say "see ya".
This comes up because my NYE smoocher had called and said we'd go out this weekend. Of course, I haven't heard from him since. Why even bother calling? I'm sick of being blown off. I really am. Is it because I have this "yeah right" going off in my head every time someone tells me something? Do I somehow bring it on myself?
Lisa

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Hi Lisa. It's not an 'older' thing. Collectively, single people are the most unreliable group that exists. You can always count on them (collectively) to not follow through on something. I've done it; I'd bet you have too.
As far as NYE guy goes... and your question as to being blown off and 'Do I somehow bring it on myself?'... My only question would be to you: Was there enthusiasm in your voice when he asked you out?
Ok the only part I think that you are at fault for with flakiness (one of my biggest pet peeves) is sending the wrong vibes - or negativity thoughts/feelings out into the universe. attracting the flaky people.
But not your fault in the respect you are doing anything to provoke such actions.
Honestly, its very rare to find people true to their words and plain old honest. When I find these rare people, i keep them in my life as friends or more.
I can empathsize because Ive had these same thoughts over/over lately. OLD sure seems to bring out the flaky people!
Sorry about the date w/ this guy, hopefully you made some great plans for yourself in lieu of the date...
Lisa,
Are the actions of a drunk NY reveler really any indication of how the rest of the human race behaves?
I think I gave other examples other than just the one guy.
Lisa
In my head, I was thinking "yeah right" and in my voice I was saying "great! - that sounds like fun" - and I was sorta excited about him (ask ponymom). I'm not really surprised he flaked because I have learned that saying and doing are two different things. And I think that in itself is sad. I do what I say I'm gonna do. Don't others?
Lisa
I will work on my vibes because I do believe there is something to that. Thanks! I took myself to "Million Dollar Baby" tonight. Every year I like to see all the movies up for Oscars and make my own decision. I won't say anything other than Hilary Swank rocks and it deserves all the nominations it's getting.
Lisa
What did you think?
Lisa
It's not you, and it's certainly not new. John hit the nail on the head, single people are notoriously unreliable. Why? Nobody knows, or if they do they aren't telling. That's just the way it is.
Isn't it frustrating, lisa?! Especially those words, "we'll have to get together some time". I have learned never to take those words seriously. What I will do if some *unknown factor* makes tentative plans with me is set up a confirmation phone call from them. This way, I'm not left holding air.
It makes me appreciate the few reliable people in my life that much more. And, being single and prone to that fault, it keeps me honest in my dealings.
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