Is this rude or is it me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Is this rude or is it me?
3
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 2:27pm

So I had a first date (not including the first meeting last Thursday) luncheon today with "straight to the phone call dude", and I thought it went pretty well, he said he'd call tomorrow, okay, fine.

Here's the part I didn't care for. I think he was getting me mixed up with someone else he's been emailing or chatting with! I can't STAND that! That happened a couple weeks ago with my last in person meeting, and that was the last time I heard from that guy.

Is this a bad sign? Think it's already doomed for failure if the guy didn't even realize who he was with? He's probably emailing the other chick talking about our lunch date....

Ever happen to you? If so, how did you handle it? AND, more importantly, did it get to a second date (third meet)?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 2:30pm
not sure if he was exactly mixing me up with someone or not, but the guy I'm emailing/talking to will say something to me and then say "did I already tell you that?". I can't tell if it's because he's talking to more than just me or he really doesn't remember.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 2:58pm

I've had that happen before (or I think so). One time when we were setting up the first meeting a guy I had been chatting with said something about "Well, I don't know the West Village very well since I don't live down there, do you have any suggestions?". Well, umm, I don't live in the West Village either and I know I had told him where I DID live. I kind of laughed it off and said, "Well, I don't know the area either because I live in X". I chalked it up in the back of my mind to see if it was a slip or if he really was inattentive to things I said. Turns out he WAS inattentive and boring so I ddin't go out with him again after the first meeting.

So my advice is to not let it be a strike, but to keep it around to see if he pays attention more later on. Guys don't usually do details well. He IS probably talking to a few women. Cut him some slack for now but if it continues, decide if you can put up with it!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 3:50pm

Eh. I've done this before, and I've had it done to me, too.

It's offensive, it kinda sucks, but there's not a lot we can do about it. You pretty much have two choices; one, keep going and MAKE yourself more memorable to the guy, or two, move on to the next one.

To keep myself from doing this I now tend to only be in communication with a couple of gals at any one time.