Bachelorette 3 ....2.7.05
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| Tue, 02-08-2005 - 11:53am |
Here’s the weekly B review
Well, the first thing I thought when she was at Ryan’s house was “What a little B” Jenn is being when she made that comment about his parents. To me it was obvious the folks were nervous and when we’re nervous we tend to babble or talk about subjects we know will go over well. To say that was “weird” was very immature.
I’ll have to agree with the shrink below; I never thought of Jenn as being or needing the center of attention but maybe he’s right. What was up with the fake eye lashes? Jeez, they really are making her all dolled up too much in my opinion, we want the girl next door back darn it, ha!
I still like Ryan but after seeing this week it seems Jerry is the front runner. I knew Wendell was going last night, she wasn’t attracted to him and I know first hand you can’t force that and if you try it will catch up with you. Glad she let him go and trust me, he probably has a fan base now in Chicago, mark my word, ha!
Peanut
http://www.angelfire.com/journal2/bachelor/page99.html
THE BACHELORETTE III 02/08/05
Q. Whoa! Goodbye Wendell. Wasn't he your favorite?
A. Yep, my sophisticated theory went right out the window! As a matter of fact, several of my ongoing theories evaporated tonight.
Q. Let's talk first about the families, which one is your favorite?
A. Jen seemed a little uptight during her visit with Ryan's family. This is my personal opinion, but I believe she overreacted a little. Jen was the visitor, therefore it was good manners and HER responsibility to try to accommodate to their awkwardness in front of her. Jen may be used to the lights and cameras, but Ryan's family definitely was not. Jen acted as if she only felt good whenever she was the center of attention and in control of the situation and conversation. His parents probably talked about Thailand because it was a “safe subject”. Perhaps Jen would have enjoyed it better if they would have asked the same silly questions like "What do you see in our son", etc.
I believe Wendell’s family was a little too loud and overwhelming for her. Again, she did not feel in control, and did not enjoy their topics of conversation either.
Jen's visit to JP's family was fairly neutral, and went pretty smoothly. His parents are very low key and likeable. Is it me or JP appears to be a little too much into himself and his materialistic accomplishments? Not only did he show off his restaurant’s “chef”, but did he also have to drive Jen around in his Mercedes? I thought ABC provided transportation. He reminded me of Aaron and his fighter plane decorated apartment. JP is mature in some areas, but is also a typical 25 yr. old in others. I was expecting him to pull out his new camera flip-phone and take a photo of Jen.
It might surprise a few readers to know I was really impressed by Jerry's family. His mother appears to be a really sweet and loving woman, and all of his family appear to be very sharp and intuitive. I especially liked Jerry's brother, who seems very mature and wise for his age. Jen was very gracious with them, and appeared to be at ease in their presence. She was foolish to invite Jerry's brother to follow her into another room only to begin interrogating him for additional information on Jerry. What did she expect his brother to do, gossip? I feel the producers set her up for this and wonder how foolish can Jen continue to be.
Q. Talk to me a little more about Jerry and his family. Please elaborate as you were doing before we began our Q&A. We were talking about the possible reasons for Jerry not to like going back to his hometown.
A. Tonight I believe to have learned a little more about what makes Jerry tick. Please understand I am basing all my suppositions from analyzing bits and pieces of conversations, as well as carefully observing face expressions and interactions among the participants. It is my opinion Jerry's hometown only brings back bad memories for him and also feel he did not have a pleasant childhood there.
Having a physically challenged parent can bring tremendous pressures to a child. Other children, and sometimes even adults, can be cruel and disrespectful towards physically challenged individuals and their family members; something not easily forgotten by their victims.
Also, most children brought up in these types of households are forced to mature faster than others brought up in regular households. Keep in mind they are often used as translators and even problem solvers by their parents, who have no other way of communicating with the "outside world".
As for Jerry, I believe he does love his mother and siblings, but there is something there that continues to hurt him whenever he comes home, and a simple TV show is not going to give us a glimpse of what it is. I just hope he finds the inner peace he needs to be able to place everything in order and move on with his life.
Q. Anything else you wish to tell me regarding Jerry or his family?
A. Yes, after having witnessed Jen sending Wendell home, it is possible she may actually offer Jerry the final rose, even though I feel he is not developing any type of feelings towards her. Don't jump all over me now, I am of the opinion Jerry is a pretty nice guy, even if he knows how to manipulate others fairly well, but that is not a sin and I have nothing negative to say about him.
Jerry appears to have an internal wall built between him and the outside world that Jen is not going tear down anytime soon. Take a good look folks, most of the time it is Jen who takes the initiative and goes for Jerry, and very seldom we see it happening the other way around. That should tell you something! One thing is to be in love with the love story, but there is no way to edit around the facts.
Having said that, I do not see any magic between her and anyone else left on the show.
Q. What about Jean Paul?
A. My opinion of him remains the same as last week, he is not ready for any type of long-term commitment, much less with Jen. He is into his commercial ventures.
Q. And Ryan? Some readers believe he may be Jen's secret "love" on this show.
A. If he is, the producers have created a bulletproof smokescreen between Jen and him. Now that I have watched Jen kissing more men than just Andrew, I am able to say she kisses Ryan with the same mediocrity she used to kiss Andrew, especially after their show finished taping. Just because Jen enjoys his company does not mean she is actually falling for him. I would be surprised if she chose him in the end.
Q. Hold that thought! Now talk to me about Jen.
A. Life is funny, in a way; if I would have been able to see all the footage of Jen interacting and kissing other men, as I have during this show, I would have changed my opinion of Jen and Andrew as a couple. I can now see Jen never kissed Andrew with deep passion, nor did she appear to be deeply in love with him, and it is no wonder to me that their relationship deteriorated within a year.
I have also noticed Jen has a subconscious habit of patting a man's back whenever he kisses her and she is not too romantically involved with him, much like patting down a little dog. I've seen her do this several times, beginning with Andrew, but I did not pay too much attention to this at the time. Logically, the longer we are able to observe a person, the more we actually learn about their character traits.
Q. So what does this all mean?
A. It means whatever happens during the final show, Jen will not come out of this with a long term relationship, much less a happy marriage. She took a big gamble to be on this show; having a second relationship go awry on National TV is not going to make her look good.
I believe viewers have become so disillusioned with these shows their level of expectation has dropped significantly, today most are satisfied if the main character just finds someone to date for a while. Yes, she may come out of this with a “prolonged fling”, but that was not the reason for her to come on the show. She could have stayed in Chicago and done that.
I do not wish to get ahead of myself; therefore, I will wait and see how everything unfolds before voicing any more opinions on this subject.

Oh yeah. I knew Wendell was going at the end of the family date when they STILL didn't kiss. I hope he really wasn't as emotionally invested in that as they portrayed him to be. He's too good for her.
I also thought Jen was a real snot when she was at Ryan's family's house. These poor people that have probably never been in front of more than a few people at a time ever in their life are now on national TV. Of course they were nervous! And they talked about something interesting that they just did that they thought they could share. Sure, it looked a little over the top, but the expression of sheer boredom on her face was rude and horrible. Apparently she is getting blasted all over the place for it! She was selfish and self-centered to think that they should talk about her and Ryan all the time.
I am also back to thinking that Jerry is the front runner. Sigh. It won't last a month. He is a hottie, but they are just not a match. I thought it was interesting when she said she always picks the wrong guys.
One thing that I find interesting is the change of attitude fans seem to have when someone comes back to bet he Bachelor or Bachelorette. For instance, I liked Trista the first time around. When she had her own show, her simpering baby-talk drove me nuts. I thought Bob was great when he was on the Bachelorette, but he turned into Fame-Whore-Blob on his own show. I still loved Merry-D, but I know that some people changed their opinion about her - that she had bad fashion sense and seemed to drink a LOT on the show and that she also led that one guy on. And now Jen. I loved her on the Bachelor. I don't dislike her yet, but I think we are seeing a less flattering side of her - more self-centered and like a celebrity.
>>I believe viewers have become so disillusioned with these shows their level of expectation has dropped significantly, today most are satisfied if the main character just finds someone to date for a while. Yes, she may come out of this with a “prolonged fling”, but that was not the reason for her to come on the show. She could have stayed in Chicago and done that. <<
This is a pretty good point. I think that people, after seeing how many of these reality TV couples wind up breaking up on down the road, might be getting fairly disillusioned with the whole thing.
One of the biggest problems I've always had with the Bachelor/ette shows is that I have a really hard time believing that someone can find a One True Love in the incredibly short amount of time that they spend with the various candidates.
Trista and whatshisface appear, so far, to be the exception to this rule, but they both had very romantic personalities.
It's hard to have the "willing suspension of disbelief" while watching the shows if you know that something like 5 out of the last 6 relationships that CAME from the shows flamed out big time.
ABC has chosen, though, to keep the shows to a relatively short story arc- several weeks and they're done, with the big finale show coming during a sweeps month.
I have to wonder- would they get more interest, and would it be more believable, if they whipped through the first couple of weeks, got down to, say, 8 or 10 people... and then gave the contestants quite a bit more time to "date" the Bachelor/ette?
The problem, of course, would be that if you don't cut someone on each and every show, you lose the drama of the rose ceremony.
But let's say you kept 10 people. You could then just cut one person each week and give the Bachelor/ette 9 full weeks, and more importantly 9 DATES, 9 chances to spend time with each guy/gal, and the viewing audience might be able to believe that someone is falling in love with a higher likelihood of it lasting, because the people spent more time together in the beginning.
Oh well. I suppose as long as ratings stay reasonably strong, they'll keep doing it like they have been.
Picking the wrong men----Andrew was the right man but alas I believe she will soon realize that later on in life. It’s of my opinion now that Jenn is not ready for marriage. I always thought I was but seriously wasn’t until about a year ago. I think our actions, decisions and choices dictate that. When you’re really ready, you’re going to sacrifice a lot in a good way but you can’t be all about “me”....and a lot that’s hard to let go. Andrew did spoil Jenn but she couldn’t handle his family business coming first. You have to make sacrifices if you’re truly in it for the long haul and you have to be ready. I think Jerry is a decent guy but I still believe he’s looking for a career not marriage. I agree, they try to recycle the favorites and it backfires!
SP
And Ian and Meredith did break up I saw on a magazine. Who stays together today anyways? I hear of more breakups than success stories. Sorry a bit cynical today.
Where Jerry's dad was is never discussed. He is just obviously out of the picture but he was never mentioned.
I am starting to think that Jen is just a pretty self-centered girl. It doesn't make her a really bad person, but I think as much as she denies it, she likes being the center of attention and in the limelight. When things are not focused on her, she isn't comfortable.
I also think that Andrew and Jen were a very good couple. I think she was just not willing to make the sacrifices she needed to to truly make it work. Yes, she moved cross country and left her job, but when you really love someone, you make those kinds of changes and don't "hold it against" someone. I think she always had some resentment that she did all that and Andrew didn't reciprocate by giving something up. Again, I think that goes back to her self-centered nature.
As for the relationships from these shows NOT working out, I personally think that it is no worse or better than real life. OK so 1 out of 8 has worked (with Byron and Mary still TBD). And Blob met his current wife still through the show (she hosted ABC Family's show where they replay them and give scoop about the show). But if you think about it 1) This is probably a similar track record for real life. MOST relationships don't work out. 2) These people are put under a public microscope. It is tough to make a relationship work under normal conditions much less with people hounding you all the time and just waiting for you to either get married or split up. 3) They are under a lot of pressure to make a decision at the end of the show which is actually a very short time. They either get engaged after a few weeks or at least try to start a relationship. They have a lot of getting to know each other and probably once they do when they start going out to NORMAL dates like the movies and dinner (and not these unbelievable, romantic, unrealistic dates like they do on the show), the shine wears off and they start to see each other in a normal way instead of through the rose colored glasses.
It’s of my personal opinion that most people, myself included up until about a year ago don’t want to give up the perks of being single while committing to a full time relationship leading to marriage. Usually, one or both will have to give up some personal time and it is an adjustment. As I’ve said before, once you do find a life partner, you’re life will never be the same—close that chapter and for some it’s a hard to pill to swallow. Maybe your partner lives in a certain city, well, one of you might have to move or relocate, get a different job. Perhaps you’re used to your “alone” time on Friday nights (that used to be) my night. Most married couples I know say their alone time now is driving to and from work or on the treadmill at the gym, LOL. You’ll have you’re time but not like it used to be. Perhaps you have in laws you’ll have to entertain from time to time...all kinds of stuff and it’s not always about you AKA Jenn and feeling left out about Thailand is a good example! Maybe you enjoy watching movies at home and your partner is more outgoing – you’ll have to compromise. Go out one night and stay in the next! It’s now about “we” vs. “me”!
There are a lot of success stories; the negative is more interesting to read therefore it sells and makes money.
Travolta and his wife Kelly have been together like 20 years. She used to have his posters on her wall as a girl, now that’s love, smiles!
Q. Hi A.T. I found your comments regarding Jen pretty accurate, as I see it. Now that you have had more exposure to her, through this second show, can you humor us fans and tell us your opinion of the real reason why she left Andrew? (B.R.)
A. This is going to be one of those mysteries no one will ever be able to crack, in my opinion. Some say Andrew may have been too hyper for her, or the fact he moved her in with his room mate did them in, or that Andy dragged his feet around and did not want to take the next step, but I honestly feel their demise was perhaps due to something else. Actually, I feel there was nothing Andy could have done to salvage their relationship. After watching again some of the bloopers shown on their ATRS, I have realized Andrew behaved in his normal hyperactive wacky way during the filming of the show as well as after both were engaged, therefore, Jen should have known perfectly well what he was going to be like. If she felt he was too nerve-wracking for her to handle, Jen should have refused a rose and returned home.
I accept the fact both should have rented their own apartment, instead of sharing their place with one of his friends, so that’s one against Andy, as far as I’m concerned. It could have been a stroke of genius if perhaps it had something to do with circumventing one of California's alimony laws for unmarried couples living together. I welcome any California alimony expert out there who is able to enlighten me, in case I have blindly stumbled into something that could explain the whole thing.
The larger issue is I am beginning to believe it was really all about Jen not being the center of attention in the Firestone clan. I know, for a fact, large powerful families, like the Firestones, are usually based on everyone sharing the responsibility of keeping the family business running successfully, and no one is supposed to stand out. In other words, the needs of the many far outweigh the need of the one, in this case our dear Jen. It is possible Jen saw she was really powerless to change or maneuver things to her liking, something we are beginning to see does not agree with her.
I know Andy is a little immature and may be too electrified for someone with an easygoing personality to survive, but one thing about him: What you see is what you get, he never pretends to be anything he is not, therefore it really shouldn’t take anyone a whole year to realize how he is.
Andrew is also what I consider a social animal. Anyone who has met him in person knows he is an animated talker and the one with the jokes and funny lines. All the attention would have been drifted from Jen to him, whenever both were out there interacting with the public, perhaps that is why she disliked traveling with him.
It is evident, after watching this week’s home visits, Jen does not feel comfortable unless she is the center of attention and all conversation drifts to whatever topic she wishes to speak about. As a matter of fact, now that you have me going, I do not mind saying it is my personal opinion no Bachelorette has ever been so insulting, to the families of her suitors, as Jen was. Didn’t it cross her mind whatever she said was going to be aired, including her comments about Thailand and Ryan’s parents? I hope she’s not daft enough to choose Ryan in the end, I’m certain his family will not be jumping up and down with joy over it.
Finally, I can understand Andrew wanting to take longer than perhaps Jen was willing to wait before making any type of wedding plans. He did say, on national TV, he did not believe in pre-nuptials. Perhaps, after experiencing a couple of Jen tantrums, he saw a glimpse of the real Jen and wanted to ensure he had made the right choice. After all, a divorce without a pre-nuptial would have depleted him of a pretty good sum of money, it is logical for him to have wanted to move slowly.
Anyway, I am learning more and more about some of these individuals every time I watch a new episode, but please remember I am only guessing, since I do not know anyone of these individuals personally.
As for Jen, there is nothing she can do to change the way she is, and I must emphasize I still believe she is a pretty nice person, in real life. Even though I do not consider it a sin, I also believe Jen is hard to please, likes to be in control, shows little common sense, and becomes impatient too quickly, three signs of someone who is not necessarily a bad person, but who is difficult. It is also a sign of someone who may discard some good opportunities in life simply because of her impatience and desire to have full control of the events. We, as fans, will never know for certain, but I have a hunch Jen may realize some of her mistakes a couple of decades from now when she has matured a little more.
It is too bad, most of the time, we humans begin the road to wisdom and common sense when it is getting to be too late to do anything practical about it.