Drinking and smoking
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Drinking and smoking
| Wed, 02-09-2005 - 12:17pm |
I love the choices for these two subjects. None of them fit me I don't think. I smoke when I drink for sure and occassionally other times. I don't drink regularly but when I do, it's definitely more than one or two! Should I just put socially for both if that's a choice? I drink socially and I can put away a few by myself at home - is that still socially? I can go for weeks without drinking ever or I could have one or two every night, depending on the ebb and flow of my life.
I'm probably thinking too much on this.
Lisa

Hi Lisa,
No, I think we have to think about things like this! So, you would not be bothered by someone who smokes occasionally, since you do.? I do not smoke and do Not care to kiss someone who has been smoking cigarettes. I like it when men put that they smoke cigars at times,as the Cigar Bars are big here in Texas, and I can tolerate that. Maybe you could put the 'no answer' and then in your profile, add in a sentence that you do smoke in some social situations and do not mind dating smokers. How DO you feel if they smoke? It is a dealbreaker for me.
On drinking, I put that I do it socially, because I think that portrays how much/when I drink..which is as I feel like a glass of wine, margarita. I am saying I do drink, enjoy it, but it is not a problem in any way for me. To be honest, I do not like dating men who do Not drink, as I have found that is often a red flag warning--two men I met and had one date with,each, did not drink as they were recovering alcohlics with DUI's!! And both were successful professionals. I love relaxing by the fire with a glass of wine and snuggling with a friendly male, so I do want them to 'enjoy' alcohol. I also think that people with 'addictive' personalities, such as alcoholism, also have other 'addictive' behaviours too, so I really watch out for that!
Cute lawyer, who has my Saturday this week (date #3) also feels the same way about ciggie smokers..it is a No Go. I have lots of pals that smoke, so do not judge, just avoid them as kissing partners! :)
Truly,
Cupcake
I'd go "socially" on both. You can always elaborate further later.
For me it was the smoking that was tough for me as I was in the process of quitting when I first posted. I would choose "trying to quit", as that was case. I was surprised how many guys didn't believe me. They would say "trying to quit" was the same thing as actually smoking. (Huh?) I decided they were idoits.
LG...I can't believe people would think it strange that you ordered a soda! I enjoy a drink (or 2, or 3) now and then, but often order a soda if I'm not in the mood.
I don't really drink much, and I don't smoke at all. I think the two are a bit different.
Smoking, to me, is either/or. You either do smoke, or you don't. You might not be a pack-a-day type, but the stench stays on/around you, your clothes, your stuff for a LONG time even when you're just a "weekend" smoker.
When I go to a joint with smoking, as soon as I come home I peel off those clothes and pop them right into the washer. I can handle being around it, but I hate having it in my home.
Drinking, on the other hand, is a whole 'nother ball game. Lots of people have a glass of wine or two with dinner 5 or 6 nights a week- but they certainly don't have any kind of "problem" with it. There's guys who only drink once a month, but they'll get completely ripped and blottoed; they're way more of a "drinker" than the first bunch.
So drinking has a wider range of behaviors. I think "social" covers that wide range, and that's what I see most people put down unless they don't drink at all.
And to all who think that "trying to quit" is somehow different than being a smoker: No way. You either do or you don't. You have either quit (which means you don't) or you haven't.
It's like being a little bit pregnant. Ain't possible. You is, or you isn't.
Interesting. I usually would skip over any guy who said 'Don't drink'. Not that I care so much if they do or don't, but I don't want to feel self conscious if I do. I sort of rule them out off the bat, but oddly enough, with the guy I am now serious with, I didn't notice this on his profile.
On our first date (which was dinner on a Monday) I was a little early and drinking a glass of wine, he ordered a non-alcoholic beer. I sort of thought it was odd, but hey- it is a Monday~ work night and all.
So I checked his profile the next day and sure enough, he had 'do not drink' checked. He didn't seem to care that I had two glassed of wine over the course of the evening and had already made a date for Friday before we said goodnight, so I knew he didn't care that I did.
Point of my story? Had I caught this on his profile, I probably would not have gone out with him. I might have missed out the most amazing man who will most likely be the one I spend the rest of my life with. So if a girl looks at you like you are crazy, hopefully they will get over it, and if any pass you over because of it, well they might just be missing out!
I absolutely will not date a smoker.