Drinking and smoking

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Drinking and smoking
8
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 12:17pm

I love the choices for these two subjects. None of them fit me I don't think. I smoke when I drink for sure and occassionally other times. I don't drink regularly but when I do, it's definitely more than one or two! Should I just put socially for both if that's a choice? I drink socially and I can put away a few by myself at home - is that still socially? I can go for weeks without drinking ever or I could have one or two every night, depending on the ebb and flow of my life.

I'm probably thinking too much on this.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 1:56pm
I definitely understand what you mean. I know I am somewhere in the middle on the drinking myself. "Drink regularly" makes you sound like a lush, but I am probably more than a "Social drinker" because sometimes I'll have a glass of wine or a couple of beers at home and that is definitely not "social"! But I use the social or one or two categories because they are not too far off and have less of a stigma than the drinks regularly.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 5:57pm

Hi Lisa,

No, I think we have to think about things like this! So, you would not be bothered by someone who smokes occasionally, since you do.? I do not smoke and do Not care to kiss someone who has been smoking cigarettes. I like it when men put that they smoke cigars at times,as the Cigar Bars are big here in Texas, and I can tolerate that. Maybe you could put the 'no answer' and then in your profile, add in a sentence that you do smoke in some social situations and do not mind dating smokers. How DO you feel if they smoke? It is a dealbreaker for me.

On drinking, I put that I do it socially, because I think that portrays how much/when I drink..which is as I feel like a glass of wine, margarita. I am saying I do drink, enjoy it, but it is not a problem in any way for me. To be honest, I do not like dating men who do Not drink, as I have found that is often a red flag warning--two men I met and had one date with,each, did not drink as they were recovering alcohlics with DUI's!! And both were successful professionals. I love relaxing by the fire with a glass of wine and snuggling with a friendly male, so I do want them to 'enjoy' alcohol. I also think that people with 'addictive' personalities, such as alcoholism, also have other 'addictive' behaviours too, so I really watch out for that!

Cute lawyer, who has my Saturday this week (date #3) also feels the same way about ciggie smokers..it is a No Go. I have lots of pals that smoke, so do not judge, just avoid them as kissing partners! :)

Truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 8:01am
I do not drink. I'm terribly addicted to Diet Pepsi. On my "dates" I wind up ordering Diet Pepsi and can see that the people instantly look at me like I have an extra set of teeth embedded in my forehead. Oh well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 12:10pm

I'd go "socially" on both. You can always elaborate further later.

For me it was the smoking that was tough for me as I was in the process of quitting when I first posted. I would choose "trying to quit", as that was case. I was surprised how many guys didn't believe me. They would say "trying to quit" was the same thing as actually smoking. (Huh?) I decided they were idoits.

LG...I can't believe people would think it strange that you ordered a soda! I enjoy a drink (or 2, or 3) now and then, but often order a soda if I'm not in the mood.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 12:36am

I don't really drink much, and I don't smoke at all. I think the two are a bit different.

Smoking, to me, is either/or. You either do smoke, or you don't. You might not be a pack-a-day type, but the stench stays on/around you, your clothes, your stuff for a LONG time even when you're just a "weekend" smoker.

When I go to a joint with smoking, as soon as I come home I peel off those clothes and pop them right into the washer. I can handle being around it, but I hate having it in my home.

Drinking, on the other hand, is a whole 'nother ball game. Lots of people have a glass of wine or two with dinner 5 or 6 nights a week- but they certainly don't have any kind of "problem" with it. There's guys who only drink once a month, but they'll get completely ripped and blottoed; they're way more of a "drinker" than the first bunch.

So drinking has a wider range of behaviors. I think "social" covers that wide range, and that's what I see most people put down unless they don't drink at all.

And to all who think that "trying to quit" is somehow different than being a smoker: No way. You either do or you don't. You have either quit (which means you don't) or you haven't.

It's like being a little bit pregnant. Ain't possible. You is, or you isn't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2004
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 7:56am

Interesting. I usually would skip over any guy who said 'Don't drink'. Not that I care so much if they do or don't, but I don't want to feel self conscious if I do. I sort of rule them out off the bat, but oddly enough, with the guy I am now serious with, I didn't notice this on his profile.

On our first date (which was dinner on a Monday) I was a little early and drinking a glass of wine, he ordered a non-alcoholic beer. I sort of thought it was odd, but hey- it is a Monday~ work night and all.

So I checked his profile the next day and sure enough, he had 'do not drink' checked. He didn't seem to care that I had two glassed of wine over the course of the evening and had already made a date for Friday before we said goodnight, so I knew he didn't care that I did.

Point of my story? Had I caught this on his profile, I probably would not have gone out with him. I might have missed out the most amazing man who will most likely be the one I spend the rest of my life with. So if a girl looks at you like you are crazy, hopefully they will get over it, and if any pass you over because of it, well they might just be missing out!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 9:12am
I would put occasionally/socially for both. I've had a similar dilemma. I put "regular smoker" - yet I think I'm the only "regular smoker" on the site. Funny, since many of the non/occasional smokers and those trying to quit who I met in person almost always smoked way more than I do. . As far as drinking is concerned it's closer to never b/c I consume maybe 5 alcoholic beverages a year. I put "socially".

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 10:02am

I absolutely will not date a smoker.

Linda