Lavalife-- looking for sex, or dates??
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| Wed, 03-30-2005 - 9:12am |
I was checking-out Lavalife. They have three options for meeting: dates, realtionships,and "intimate encounters." So, I did a quick look at guys wanting to date, then relationships, then sex. Many of the guys were on all three!
Made me hesitant. Do I want to look at dating and finding a relationship with guys who are looking for casual sex while dating me?? Perhaps I'm too old-fashioned for modern-day romance. I don't think that people need to be committed right out of the gate... but to be actively seeking sex with some girls, while supposedly seeking a relationship with others... I don't know. It's one thing to date more than one person at the same time... that makes sense. But, this seems like something else, entirely. "I'm gonna date you casually, seek to establish a serious relationship with you, and screw these ones over here." Maybe it's just not my style.
What do you all think of this blanket-approach?
Barb

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Hi Barb,
I'd say, even if you know the guy's intention that you're dating with, you never know his intention WITH YOU, so don't analyze too much about it. My last one (that I screamed several times here) said, he wanted both - a sex friend and a GF, when we slept together. I thought, "great, so I'm his GF, and a sex friend now." wrong!! With me, he just wanted to be a sex friend. duh.
Actually, I tried eHarmony, and had crappy luck. I got a dozen matches, and as soon as I did, 2/3's of them put themselves on hold for a variety of reasons, and the rest never responded to the questions-contact eHarmony does.
So, I cancelled that one. I paid an awful lot of money, and had much less success than on Match.com.
Barb
Lavalife. One of which had a
profile on all three sections.
Of course, I don't realize
this until after we've been
dating for a couple of months!
The other guy is still a very
good friend of mine but, he
wasn't in the sex only section-
not that that would keep us
from being friends or anything.
Yeah, I agree with you, it's a
bit of a bummer to see those
ads ... I would like to know
what those guys are thinking
when they decide to sign up on
all three sections- Ha!
I have a little bit of a different approach to this. I think he's just being honest. Is he looking for a GF? Possibly. Is he looking for a sex friend? Possibly. I think the biggest lesson I've learned from OLD, regardless of the site, is that just because a person posts what type of "relationship" they are looking for- that doesn't mean it the truth.
Also, I have quite a few guys friends that are horny (can i say that here) and aren't going to pass up fun, no strings sex even though they are looking for a GF. I have other guy friends who aren't interested in bed hopping.
I think you need to decide if you are comfortable persuing a romantic relationship with a man that's into casual sex. (Not making a judgement here)
"I'm gonna date you casually, seek to establish a serious relationship with you, and screw these ones over here." Maybe it's just not my style."
I can GUARANTEE you, you will meet men that behave this way on ANY website, not just lavalife.
OLD is hardest enough as it is, pick a site that makes you comfortable.
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