Is this normal?
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Is this normal?
| Thu, 03-31-2005 - 8:32am |
I've been on match for a week and have gotten a lot of e-mails and winks...most from guys I wouldn't even consider, a couple from decent prospects. What I'm finding, though, is that when I initiate contact with someone whose profile I liked, they don't respond. Is that normal? As a female, is it better to just wink at the guy and let him e-mail you? I noticed it said I was twice as likely to get a response to an e-mail as to a wink, so I didn't want to lower my chances, but e-mailing just isn't working. Every e-mail followed the suggestions of mentioning something that drew me to their profile and I don't think I said anything that would have turned them away. Should I just give up on contacting people? I don't want to ruin something if it's a guy that would have eventually found me but my contacting him turned him off... You know, the whole "always wanting what you can't have" thing.

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Of course "it" would suggest emailing, as this is how "it" generates revenue.
Sending winks first is best. If a guy is interested he will respond and you can then go to emailing.
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lg, you surprise me. It costs money to send emails. Given that OLD is such a numbers game, it makes better sense to me to wink first for free and respond if the guy has checked you out and is interested.
Are you advising newbies to spend the money right off the bat instead of investing it in people who are at least somewhat interested?
amjay
I have emailed and winked and had about the same success with both - not much. Ha! I've also wondered why b/c I'm so selective about who I contact. I only contact men who really seem like a good mutual match. I'm not saying that they have to fulfill a wish list - but the basics are all there and no obvious incompatibilities. . I can never imagine what in my profile was a dealbreaker for almost all of them. But I still recommend trying b/c ....well....why not? It doesn't hurt. And if those guys aren't seeing you or contacting you anyway, then what difference does it make, right? Go for it.
And to answer something that comes up later in the thread - yes - I would recommend that a newbie pay up and email. I wouldn't have recommended this in the past, but I've changed my mind. Newbies get the most attention. After you've been online for awhile you become just another face that's been viewed over and over again by the same people. The first month online is the best month to really take the plunge and be active and proactive.
But this also means that you have to have a killer profile. This is it. This is where your profile can either make or break your success. That means that you have to have excellent photos posted and a clear, specific essay that targets your market and doesn't sound just like everyone else's profile.
That's my 2 cents. ;-)
Hi Iteach,
Yes I do believe that Match.com strips the home email addresses from the emails that go through their site. Many people think that the other person has ignored them, when the home email address has actually been stripped and replaced with the @talkmatch.com address instead, and if this person is not a paying member, they have no way to get back to the other person. Sometimes it will go through if it is typed out completely:
soandso at hotmail dot com
Sunshine
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