Is this normal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Is this normal?
12
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 8:32am
I've been on match for a week and have gotten a lot of e-mails and winks...most from guys I wouldn't even consider, a couple from decent prospects. What I'm finding, though, is that when I initiate contact with someone whose profile I liked, they don't respond. Is that normal? As a female, is it better to just wink at the guy and let him e-mail you? I noticed it said I was twice as likely to get a response to an e-mail as to a wink, so I didn't want to lower my chances, but e-mailing just isn't working. Every e-mail followed the suggestions of mentioning something that drew me to their profile and I don't think I said anything that would have turned them away. Should I just give up on contacting people? I don't want to ruin something if it's a guy that would have eventually found me but my contacting him turned him off... You know, the whole "always wanting what you can't have" thing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: lilah_iv
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 8:39am

Of course "it" would suggest emailing, as this is how "it" generates revenue.

Sending winks first is best. If a guy is interested he will respond and you can then go to emailing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
In reply to: lilah_iv
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 8:53am
I'm with Amjay. I just wink first and if the guy is interested, he'll email or wink back. Sending emails is just too much trouble and most of the time guys just don't respond for whatever reason.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
In reply to: lilah_iv
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 10:19am
As a guy I only respond to emails. I find a large percentage of winkers are sniffing glue or magic markers and have no serious intent at following up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2004
In reply to: lilah_iv
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 10:48am
If a guy winked at me...I would wink back and let them initiate the email. Perhaps they winked because tehy don't want to pay up the monthly fee, therefore they can send as many winks as they want and see who is interested before the spend the money. My subscription ran out, and I didn't take my profile down immediately. Therefore, I continued to get email but couldn't respond back with an email, so I sent a wink to let them know I may be interested. I would just get an email back, sometimes men have been smart enough to figure this out and send there email address, but any email addresses I have received since my membership has expired has been soandso@talkmatch.com. So, I wonder if match has been stripping any email addrress in text to non subscribers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
In reply to: lilah_iv
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 11:17am
I've decided to switch from e-mailing to winking when I'm interested in a person. The first few have just been really frustrating...I took all that time to write out an e-mail only to have them ignore me. If they don't feel I'm worth contacting based on just a wink, I don't want them anyway!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
In reply to: lilah_iv
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 11:23am
Most emails that I have received from women were no longer than a paragraph.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: lilah_iv
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 2:59pm

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lg, you surprise me. It costs money to send emails. Given that OLD is such a numbers game, it makes better sense to me to wink first for free and respond if the guy has checked you out and is interested.

Are you advising newbies to spend the money right off the bat instead of investing it in people who are at least somewhat interested?

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
In reply to: lilah_iv
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 3:08pm
yes - for me I find that if someone emails that they are much more interested than just a wink. It also lets them provide some information on what they liked in your profile. I've had more than one that I've gotten back in touch with primarily on the strength of their email rather than photo.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: lilah_iv
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 6:58pm

I have emailed and winked and had about the same success with both - not much. Ha! I've also wondered why b/c I'm so selective about who I contact. I only contact men who really seem like a good mutual match. I'm not saying that they have to fulfill a wish list - but the basics are all there and no obvious incompatibilities. . I can never imagine what in my profile was a dealbreaker for almost all of them. But I still recommend trying b/c ....well....why not? It doesn't hurt. And if those guys aren't seeing you or contacting you anyway, then what difference does it make, right? Go for it.


And to answer something that comes up later in the thread - yes - I would recommend that a newbie pay up and email. I wouldn't have recommended this in the past, but I've changed my mind. Newbies get the most attention. After you've been online for awhile you become just another face that's been viewed over and over again by the same people. The first month online is the best month to really take the plunge and be active and proactive.


But this also means that you have to have a killer profile. This is it. This is where your profile can either make or break your success. That means that you have to have excellent photos posted and a clear, specific essay that targets your market and doesn't sound just like everyone else's profile.


That's my 2 cents. ;-)

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
In reply to: lilah_iv
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 8:19pm

Hi Iteach,

Yes I do believe that Match.com strips the home email addresses from the emails that go through their site. Many people think that the other person has ignored them, when the home email address has actually been stripped and replaced with the @talkmatch.com address instead, and if this person is not a paying member, they have no way to get back to the other person. Sometimes it will go through if it is typed out completely:
soandso at hotmail dot com

Sunshine

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