Need advice! Boyfriend still has ad up..
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| Thu, 03-31-2005 - 2:01pm |
Hi
I went on lavalife a couple months ago and met a guy on there. We really hit it off and started dating (we lived really close to each other and met after a couple weeks of talking on the phone). Things moved really fast and we're now living together. He is a great guy- he treats me better than any other guy has before. I deleted my profile on lava as soon as I started dating this guy. But today I got an email from lava offering me free credits to come back and sign up again. I got curious whether my boyfriend may have got this email too so I went onto lava to see if his profile was still up. (he told me months ago that he deleted his). So I searched for his user name and his profile is still there!!! It also said at the bottom that the last day he was online was today!!!!
So what should I do? Do I freak out about this and ask him what the hell is going on? That is he just with me until he finds someone better?? Or do I let it blow over?
Help please!!!

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I haven't texted him back or called him, truthfully I don't even know what to say now. It just took me a bit by surprise to see his profile still up and it brought up some hurt inside me which I didn't expect to feel.
Sister, I feel your pain.
I don't know jikaf, this this REEKS of B.S. to me.
First of all you CAN hide your profile OR delete it...I am on Lava (or was until last night) and I have hidden my profiles there twice. Now he COULD be telling the truth about the credits, BUT, why didn't he just come right out and tell you that right away when you said his profile was still up? He could have said something like "Hmm, well that's odd that my profile was still up, I was on there this morning trying to see if they could credit me my unused credits back and I didn't see it."
Now, aside from the "why the HELL would you move in with someone SO SOON after meeting them?" issue, has he ever even mentioned he "LOVES" you? You said he said "I like you more than you know" which sounds ridiculous to me. If you are living with someone romantically, the love is either there or it isn't. If you're not sure, then why have them move in with you, you know?
What's not sitting right with me is that if he was being 100% honest, then why wouldn't he have said from the first shot that he was there today? And from what I know, you don't need to login to an account in order to see if you can get money back--that's simply in the help section.
Something smells really bad here. I would tread carefully.
Hi Jk,
I have to agree with what has been said here,and, more I want to ask you to sit for a moment and use one of the Strongest tools we women have; your Intuition. IF you were not having feelings that something was not quite right, then you would never have asked him. What bothers me is that he went for the "disclosure" clause: did not tell you that he HAD been active, when he Had, til he knew you saw him there. You can't plead "stupid".
As far as getting the money back for those credits, are we talking Big Benjamins here? If it was only about 20 dollars, then being on to get that back is Not a viable excuse. Is THAT, or any, amount of money worth the value of YOUR feelings, to him? WHEN did any of these sites Ever refund a penny?
This is up to you. OLD breeds some pretty ugly monsters. NO matter how secure you feel about things, when you see someone online like that, it is like George Foreman tanked you in the gut in Round One!!! I have been going out with New Tall Man for 10 days now and we have had 5 dates in that time and he has been Wonderful...but his 'active 24 hours' bugs me--though yes, I KNOW it is too soon to "care" about that! But, IF they say they have found such a Great girl, then WHAT are you Looking for? Something Great-ER? For me, it just keeps me a step off of really letting my feelings go 100%, so no worries. But for you...there are bigger things at stake.
Think before you act, but don't just let this "go"--see if he is the kind of man you can REALLY communicate with. IF he pulls the "mad because I am guilty" thing on ya...Ding! Next! and pack his bags FOR him! He was "Busted" and should be VERY sorry he was!!!!
Do what YOU feel is best!!
We are with you, don't feel alone! :)
Truly,
Cupcake
"I like you more than you know."
Before I move in with anyone, they better more than "like" me.
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