Age differences

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Age differences
45
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 1:11pm

Ok, so I'm 30 years old, and a female. ;-) I for the LIFE of me cannot understand WHYYYYYYYYY I keep getting 40+ year olds contacting me on OLD sites. I don't know, can someone explain to me why guys love women who are 10 years younger than them? (Aside from the physical reasons!!)

I'd like to know about the age range that the other ladies on the forum are looking for. My age range for 30 is 28-34. And yet I almost NEVER get men this age contacting me. It's to the point where I want to put, "HEY--DO NOT contact me if you're over 34 years old, as I WILL NOT BE interested in you!!"

Now, I know it IS possible for some to connect with people out of their normal age range, but I don't consider myself one of them.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 1:59pm

I'm 40, and my range is 35-43. I'm not rigid about it, though. If a guy is 45 and really intrigues me, fine. Younger than 35, I don't know - seems like they just want a piece of coyote.

When I was in my 20's I frequently dated guys 10+ years older. In fact, the only man I ever seriously considered marrying was almost exactly 10 years older. But I was much more aligned with men in that age group - I was ranked nationally in my sport, I had my own business and was just more grounded than 20 somethings.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 2:17pm
I think because you've narrowed it down to 28-34, you're going to have a smaller # of men who fit your criteria. It's just simple mathematics. I see 50-something men leering at 18-year-olds all the time. Yep, it's pretty disgusting, but it's just a fact of life. Look at the average age of most supermodels and famous actresses. I don't know that it matters quite as much to men that a woman is younger (although I have seen men on Match who seem to be adamantly opposed to younger women!). But generally speaking, you'll have better chemistry with someone who is of your same level of maturity. "Maturity" is the operative word here. I've known 30-year-olds who act like teenagers; I've known people in their early 20s who are more mature than most 50-year-olds. I'd venture to say that most of those men are contacting every woman they find attractive and/or intriguing, regardless of the age. What is getting me is just how old some of these men who are my age or just a little older look. I keep seeing pictures and thinking "That guy's old enough to be my dad," only to find out he's about twenty years younger than he looks. Whatever happened to men getting better looking with age? Not seeing it at all!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 2:25pm

"Whatever happened to men getting better looking with age? Not seeing it at all!"

LOL, you're right Lilah, I don't see it either! Craziness.

And you're right, it does have to do with maturity, but I guess what I'm saying is I just turned 30 a few months ago. I'm still just barely entering my 30's I guess you could say. Whereas a 40+ year old is in another decade, passed through his 30's now into another crucial time in his life. We would just be at different stages.

You're probably right about the guys just emailing every pretty face. Sad. It's like they're fishing; throwing out the line and don't really care what they reel in as long as it's young and firm! hehe

Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 3:02pm

i'm just a lurker, but we all have different taste. My ex H was 7 years older than me, and my last bf 13 1/2. Age has little to do with the person...there's a "may december romance" message board right here on i-village. sometimes just cuz something isn't right for you doesn't mean it's not right for other people.

good luck :)

jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 3:05pm
Welcome to the board, jen. Thanks for de-lurking. You make a good point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 3:08pm
Sadly, I get some sort of sick twisted joy out of seeing these beautiful 20-something-year-old girls turning their nose up at old men who are leering at them. ("EWWWW...HE'S OLD!!!") Why does that make me feel so good? Maybe it's a survival instinct...I know that there are very few handsome 30-something men to start with and if they are all looking at the 20-somethings, that narrows it down even more. Something tells me that eventually the men will figure out that they can ogle Britney Spears all they want, but Britney's goin' for the hot guy that's HER age or at least only a couple of years older. I guess there's nothing wrong with admiring someone who's totally out of your league -- it's when you are dog-ugly and you refuse to go out with someone who's not stunningly gorgeous that you're just plain pathetic!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 3:11pm
I'm 41 and I have down as my age range of 38-47. I've gone out with two guys who were 48, they acted alot younger though. I was contacted by someone who was 57 but sent him a nice "the age difference is too much" email. I only received one email from a guy younger than the range, he was 36. Each situation is different. Some guys who are in their 40's and aren't married or don't have kids really can't understand where I am in my life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 4:27pm

<< I don't know, can someone explain to me why guys love women who are 10 years younger than them? (Aside from the physical reasons!!) >>

There are several reasons, actually.

You mentioned physical appearance as being an obvious one, and it is. There are lots of guys looking for a "young hottie".

Another reason has to do with how socially accepted it is. You see Ashton Kucher dating Demi Moore and it's big news. Everyone is just so shocked that a guy in his young 20's would be dating a 40-something, especially in Hollywood. However, when you turn it around it doesn't seem at all out of the ordinary. It's routine to see guys in their 40's, 50's, and even 60's dating much younger women. For example, Harrison Ford dating Calista Flockhart - he being 60 and she's in her 30's (37 I think). A "regular" 30-something guy will see that and think that him dating a 25 year old is not so bad, because it's only 10 years difference or so.

Finally, I know a lot of 30-something (and even 40-something) guys would love to have a family someday, and women in their 20's or early 30's have obvious benifits in that respect.

I don't think all of the above reasons make it ok, BTW. It's just one of those "double-standards" that occur in life.

Personally, I tend to go for women who are closer to my age (I'm 36). I think there would be a big maturity gap if I were to date a woman in her early to mid 20's. Older women can be just as sexy, if not more sexy anyway. :-)

Eric

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 4:41pm
I'm 27 and I had alot of 40 year old men sending me messages too! I did have a variety of ages though all the way down to 24 and up sending me messages. I met one guy for coffee one day- he was 30 and quite nice but I didn't find any chemistry between us. He did I think as he wanted to get together again but luckily at the time I was going out of town for awhile so I had an out. The next guy I went out with was 25 and we're still going out (and living together).
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 6:07pm

I'm 42 and I usually use 39-48 as a search criteria. I have had messages from guys ranging from 27 to about 60. I'm definitely not interested in a guy that has just finished school and may be living at home with his parents but I'm not interested in a man that looks like a contemporary of my father's either. I think having common interests and experiences is a must.

Very interesting responses.

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