Am I crazy in accepting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Am I crazy in accepting?
8
Sat, 04-02-2005 - 10:24pm
I just accepted a date/first meet (but it will end up a date unless I abhor the dude on sight) with a guy that is 51! and I am 32! We exchanged a couple of emails and then numbers, he called, I returned the call. Now I am second guessing myself on this because while initially I was ok with it now I am thinking about it a bit harder. I know what I am looking for and he was straight forward in what he was looking for (and long range that meshes) but I am thinking that he may be in a bit more of a hurry than I am to be "exclusive" with someone because I have really reached a point of I am taking my sweet time. And he follwed up the phone conversation with a nice email. **He did confess surprise that I even responded to his initial email due to the age difference** Maybe I am just being a twit, lol. Could I please get a reality check?
Thanks everyone!
J
Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Sat, 04-02-2005 - 11:18pm

Just try it :) give him the same chance you would anyone else. Go to the may december relationship board...lots of happy people there. My last bf was 13 1/2 years older than me and we dated very successfully for two years. As a lurker, i can tell you sometimes people here seem so picky...i am SURE OLD is hard (i have never used an OLD site but married a man i met online)....but we have to be a little flexible. Love comes in many packages on the outside...but it's good to stop and learn about what is on the inside. It's just a date...just one date...go, and have fun :)

good luck!
jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 04-03-2005 - 10:20am

Buyer's remorse? lol. I vote you give the guy a chance. After all, it's only a first meeting. You both will either confirm your initial interest or not. Good luck!

I love being called picky, Jen, thanks! It can't be because of OLD, though, since I was accused of being picky in real life situations.

all those men I could have had, if I only put aside my dislike of rudeness, strong body odor, laziness, immaturity, and drug addictions. Oh well, some day my prince will come.

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Sun, 04-03-2005 - 11:04am
My father is 18 years older than my mom, and they've been happiliy married for over 25 years -- they even still hold hands when they're out for dinner, or walking at the mall, etc. I can't date someone much older than me, that's a personal choice, but if you have no problems with it, give it a try, you never know what will happen if you don't give him a chance. If it doesn't work out you can always NEXT him!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sun, 04-03-2005 - 11:14am

Are you concerned about the age difference? Or are you concerned that he might want to move things along at a faster pace than you?


Either way, I'd suggest meeting him anyway. After an hour together you'll probably have a better idea of whether or not this is something you want to pursue further.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Sun, 04-03-2005 - 2:10pm

I'd say go with your initial gut instinct- which was that he seems like a good guy and that you should go out with him.

It's just a date, for pete's sake; you're not marrying the guy! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Sun, 04-03-2005 - 2:50pm

I am concerned slightly about the age difference but as he seems to be active, activity levels should not be a problem however, I am thinking that most likely he would not want more children and I am pretty sure I want one more and wouldn't even mind more than one more.

Probably I am more concerned about how quickly he would want to "move things along" based on things said in the conversation we had. I am all for going along slow and taking time to smell the flowers along the way but I also do not want to get too wrapped up with the one guy I am seeing who is far and away one of my favorite people right now. I feel like I maybe wouldn't give the guy a fair chance because I do have a preference for someone else and I do not think that will change (that feeling is based on the conversation we had, which while it was nice enough to agree to a date, didn't exactly create waiting with bated breath by the phone for him to call again, lol)

I am going to go on the date/meet, I already committed myself to that regardless that I am second guessing myself now. Who knows, he could be a real jerk but if he is a nice guy it will be all that harder to say no to a second or third date if it comes to that because I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings, no matter how mild they may be. I am a big ol' softie, what can I say, I like everyone to be happy :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Sun, 04-03-2005 - 3:13pm
I am going to disagree with the most who responded here. I personally wouldn't date someone who is that much older. You two are in different places of your lives. There is 2 generations gap and it will be difficult to overcome. My ex-husband was much older than me and I wouldn't recommend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Sun, 04-03-2005 - 5:27pm

Are you crazy in accepting? HELL YES! Even he was surprised that you replied.

I tell men off who email me with that kind of age difference if I am in am especially bitchy mood (ie if they say anything slightly suggestive).

However, you did accept which means you should go. It is the polite thing to do.