How anti-climactic

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
How anti-climactic
31
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 9:48am

Last week I was contacted by someone online. We exchanged a couple of emails and then I asked if he'd be okay with talking on the phone instead. He sent me his number and I called him last Thurs. He wanted to set up a day to meet right then and there but I didn't have my schedule yet so he said he'd call on Sunday.


The next morning I received an email from him saying that he enjoyed talking to me and is looking forward to talking to me on the weekend to set up a day to meet.


He didn't call.


So...last night, in Chat I told this story and said that while I realized that it might be fruitless to do so, I was thinking of sending an email basically asking, "What's up?" but without sounding snotty . Some said to forget it and others said it would hurt.


So, after Chat I sent an email and wrote that I'm sorry that we didn't get another chance to speak but that I was still up for meeting if he was.


Good news - he wrote back within minutes saying that he still wanted to meet.


Bad news - he didn't apologize or explain why he didn't call like

 

 

 

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 10:04am
I know the feeling. I've had a few guys recently ask for my number and say "I'll call you tonight". Nothing. Or "we need to get together soon". Nothing. I know you're never supposed to get your hopes up but I have a habit of actually believing what people tell me. I'm supposed to meet a guy tomorrow night but haven't heard from him since friday. (ok, he's catholic and might be in the 9 days of mourning).
Go with you gut with this one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 10:08am
So, would you do it again?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 10:34am

Oh crap, JH. I agree with you...his consitent ignoring of stepping up and at least OFFERING an excuse-lame or otherwise-as to why he didn't call is weird. HELLO, you opened the door for him to save some face! Feh!

I also agree....IM'ing and texting are icky. Every guy I bothered to IM with from OLD just fell into the category of chatting buddies and whether we met or not it was a pain in the butt since I was not looking for anymore BUDDIES, as I have plenty of 'em already.

You'll figure it out to do whatever is best for you and your gut. Give him your IM name, but hell if you are never using it he'll get the hint that it doesn't work with you. Tell him that you don't like it up front since it is a weird/false/unpersonal way to communicate with someone...or do what he does...IGNORE HIS REQUEST!!! Heehee.

If you meet him have some fun. Get out and maybe see a new coffee place or bookstore that you didn't know about before. If not next him and "keep on rolling little rock" as Cupcake always says.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 10:37am

<>


I don't mean to be disrespectful but seriously....do you really believe that's why he hasn't been in touch?


I was cynical about this guy - only b/c none of my online prosects go anywhere so why would this one be any different. But yeah - you still can't help but get your hopes up just

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 10:44am
no, I was being alittle sarcastic...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 10:47am

Would I do it again? Umm...probably yes.


After he sent the email Fri. morning saying he's looking foward to talking to me again I wrote back that afternoon. I told him that I had my schedule and that I'd be really busy but that we'd figure something out. As soon as I sent it I thought it might have sounded like I was being a little aloof . Also, when we did speak, I was so tired and a little out of it.


Had I not emailed I think I would have kept wondering if he didn't call b/c perhaps he miscontrued my actions as lackluster interest. So, I don't regret it. I just think that the reality of his response didn't live up to my fantasy. I guess I had hoped to hear him say something like, "I'm so sorry I didn't call on Sun as promised. I was out all day and didn't get home until after 11 pm and since I know you wake up early I didn't think it would be appropriate to call so late. I'm so happy to hear that you'd still like to meet. Let me know when you're free."


Yeah - I have a vivid fantasy life.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 10:53am

Ugh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 10:56am

"How silly of me to feel optimistic."


Stop that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 10:59am

Text messaging on a cell phone is a pain in the butt.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 11:00am

You both may be right, ie not letting roadblocks get in the way so easily. I'll have to think more about that. The problem is my pride!! If he didn't ring when he said he would I don't think I could have emailed him. But as I said, I will re-think this attitude.

BUT -- that IM/text thing! Sounds like he doesn't want to meet at all. It sounds like he enjoys the chatting world more than the dating world.

Pages