Does OLD ever fill you with regret?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Does OLD ever fill you with regret?
5
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 7:57pm

I dated this guy about 4 years ago. We met during one of my off-again periods with the guy I was head-over-heels-for. This guy, Steve, was gorgeous, super sweet, TOTALLY crazy about me, but a bit flakely with the job situation. He just couldn't seem to focus or hang onto a job for very long. It was a big red flag for me since I was making about 3x what he was making at the time and worried that his lack of stability in that area would cause a lot friction in our relationship.

Anyway, now that I've dated a bunch of losers on-line (of course, none of the fabulous men who post on this site are in that category!), I'm wondering if I was being too picky at the time. It's not really important now because you can't go back and change things, but geez, OLD is really making me shake my head and wonder "Is this the best there is?" Anyone else ever want to smack themselves for letting a good one go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 8:38pm
I haven't had any regrets from OLD that I wouldn't or couldn't have had in "real life" (RL?) dating.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 8:52pm

No regrets at all. Even though I didn't get what I was looking for (bf), I also didn't get what I didn't want (losers). So my experience has been fine.

I think most people are picky when they first try OLD. There are so many choices (we think) that we can afford to cross off people from our list for minor reasons. No use thinking about those ones, though. Believe me, if one of them was The One, he would be with you. So you haven't missed out on anything.

Keep your chin up and your eyes forward!

amjay




Edited 4/5/2005 8:54 pm ET ET by amjay45
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 1:06am
Thanks Amjay!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 10:49am
I'm new to OLD but honestly, I'd much rather spend an evening alone than with someone I'm not really enthusiastic about. Maybe that will change as time goes on and I start to feel lonely, but right now I'm learning to enjoy my own company. You have to look at your personal time and how valuable it is and ask yourself if you really want to date someone just because he's "all that's out there." I've met several people on match that I e-mailed with for a while but when it got to the phone call stage, I just flaked out. I wasn't at all enthusiastic about their photos and the e-mail was just blah. Then I contacted someone who was pretty good at e-mail and seemed to have a good personality on the phone. We're trying to get together (my schedule sucks!) but even if it doesn't work out with him, I won't in any way regret ignoring the winks I've been receiving all week. The men were not men I'd be attracted to, even if the world ended and I had no other choice but them. If I can't find someone online I'll find them in the real world...eventually. And if I don't, I'll still be happy. I'm not going to settle for 50% just because all the 100%s are taken.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 1:35pm
My regret is not over a guy I met online, but with one i met in real life. I suppose it's really all about timing. At the time I met Steve, I was still in love with someone else and couldn't really see him clearly. In the end, he may not have been right for me, but I also think that experience and maturity has changed what I look for in a man and he is the only one from my past that I wish I had dealt with differently.