Just keeps gettin better...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Just keeps gettin better...
10
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 11:52am

Morning everybody !
My post today is twofold. Firstly to share some interesting (more like flakey) emails that I've recently received and secondly to vent a little.
I'll start off by saying that after having had my profile hidden for well over two weeks, I recently reopened it this past weekend. Thought I'd give my profile one last round of showing before my old membership expires at the end of the month.
In any event, since reopening my profile for view, I've once again been bombarded with really out of context emails. On Sunday I rec'd one which started off with "You are so Special it Hurts" which further continued to reference such remarks pertaining to coffin nails etc. (literally !).
Then today, I got another doozy of an email from a different fella. This guy wrote within the content of his email that I shouldn't hesitate to write him back because I was less than perfect. I would add that his 'About me' part made absolutely no sense and referred to himself as Ghost dog. It was trully psychotic in nature/similar to the writings of a person who would be diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Then to compound matters I go to doublecheck my profile and low n' behold the box for display as highlighted member is checked off. I CLEARLY DID NOT MARK THAT BOX AND I CERTAINLY DON'T WANT TO BE DRAWING MORE ATTENTION TO MY PROFILE THAN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY ...

So, as you probably guessed my compadres, I had to put my profile back into hidden status again. Even though i still have several paid weeks left to my membership, I'm very compelled to just delete my entire profile at this point and just be done with it.

Since starting this old stuff in February, I've had nothing but IT glitches, have rec'd nasty grams as well as sexually explicit emails and just downright flakey emails from people who are clearly not on the same plane with the rest of us. Oh yes and how could I possibly forget about the fella that never followed through for the Friday night dinner date etc.

I genuinely commend those old users (i.e. Cupcake, NGOL, Smallpeanut, sunshine etc.), that have had the good fortune to have found healthy relationships via online means and wish them all nothing but the best in their new found relationships.

However, i am so totally baffled as to why my old experience has been quite the opposite.
I've made more revisions to my profile than I care to think about and still I keep drawing the attention of some very unbalanced people.

Wondering if anybody else out there has had any similar things happen to them while using 'old' ? and if so, how do ya deal with the weirdness of it all ? (LM)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 12:25pm
Keep in mind that some of the board members who have found relationships did OLD for a LONG time.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 12:28pm
I agree with Stacy in that it's just bad luck. Have you tried contacting members you're interested in?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 12:41pm

I guess one could say that I've taken more of a back seat/less than proactive approach to old, however, since Feb. I did send out some, not alot, but some winks to gentleman that I thought were interesting & attractive. Unfortunately 99% of them were from out-of-state and I suspect that might be why the majority of them didn't respond back.

Guys,I feel as though I'm destined to follow the path of Sister Theresa ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 1:09pm

I think that success in OLD has

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 2:41pm

Hi

Yeah, I remember getting some odd emails as well. But I just deleted them and didn't let them bother me. Some were rather funny though and a couple disturbing, but I never responded so I never heard from them again. And yes, I did meet a really great guy on there as well so it is possible.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 8:13pm

I don't think that two months is a fair enough shot to give it; oh wait, LESS than two months since your profile has been down now for two weeks.

I'm looking at someone promsing now, but it's been a YEAR and two months that I've been at it.

Stacey is right; it takes time and patience and thick skin and luck.

Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 9:00pm

Hi LM,

I had been doing OLD about 8 months before I came across the guy I am currently seeing exclusively. I had many weird emails before that and some very explicit at what they would like to do to me and how, etc. I would just delete them and if they emailed me again I'd block them.

But as some of the others have said, you have only been doing it since Feb. and that isn't very long at all. Sure we'd all love to have something great happen right away, but it does take time and you do have to be active in it also and can't just wait for it to happen to you.

You also can't let the weirdos or even the normal ones get to you in OLD. We all have preferences and if you don't fit their preferences, then it isn't because you are a bad person or anything is wrong with you - as I'm sure some have felt like that to you also where you didn't like their looks or whatever about them. So you can't take any of this personally and you just have to develop that thick skin and believe that you are the best person, no matter what emails say or who ghosts you. I developed the attitude that if that happened to me then it was their loss!

Who says the relationships will work out that some on here are in now - it's still a gamble, but that's life. I mean, hopefully they will work out to be good things, but nothing is definite. But many of us have done OLD for quite some time before we found these relationships - I don't think any happened within 2 months of starting OLD. But either way, you just have to keep a positive attitude and not let OLD be your whole life.

But in real life there are weirdos out there also, so it's not just OLD. I do wish you much luck with OLD.

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 9:13pm

Have you ever thought of getting on the search and finding those members that YOU might be interested in?? It is a two way street there...

Don't always expect that the best guys out there are going to be searching you out... who knows, those best guys just sitting there may be in the same boat you are in, tired of whack-job women writing them or responding to them.

You might be just what they were looking for?

If you don't want to message, at least send an eye contact or something to someone you might be interested in. I guarantee you if they are at all serious and nice guys, they might be totally flattered and you could very well make their day.

You never know til you try.

Bryan

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 9:16pm

Talk about luck and being in the right place at the right time...

Actually, those situations have usually worked out the best for me actually.

I would be a member or just join to be able to message people on there, and low-and-behold someone new would join that same day that had never been involved in OLD...

I would be their first contact into it, they hadn't yet been jaded by all the "germy guys" that are just looking for sex and whatnot.

Out of some of the best relationships I've found through OLD, those finding people that had just joined situations always turned out the best.

Bryan

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 10:13pm

Hi Lady M,

Don't forget that ALL of us that found someone we are happy to be in a realtionship with, kissed a LOT of amphibian-age!!! I was hoping there was a wart 'roll on' on the market, since Christmas!

Keep on rollin on, I have to say that while OLD surely can be hard to deal with at times, I still think it is a 'no guts/no glory' thing. But...the amount of frogs that one can stand is up to each individual, and I do suggest doing what many smart folks here have done--and that is taking a break from time to time, and remembering that YOUR happiness depends on you and enjoying your own company, too!

Truly,
Cupcake