Boyfriend Calling Himself "Single"

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Boyfriend Calling Himself "Single"
18
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 12:26pm

So I've been dating this guy for 3 months now and we get along quite well. We had our "let's be exclusive" talk well into the beginning of the relationship, I've met his coworkers, friends and family, they all know I'm his girlfriend.

Anyway, I'm not sure if you guys are familiar with that "Friendster" site, but that is basically a site where you can connect with your friends, etc, I use a similar one like that too and found loads of my childhood friends in it.

So yesterday I got a voice mail from him and one of the things he asked was if I knew how to add schools in it. I went online to look at it, as I had a profile there as well, and saw that in his profile he had himself as "single". The options are "Single" "In a relationship" "Domestic Partner" and "Married". He obviously knew I was going to look at his profile, and I also invited him to be my "friend", so there is no question I saw it. I have also just updated my profile as well to say I was "In a relationship" (I hadn't been there in well over 6 months). I haven't mentioned anything about the "Single" part to him, but what do you guys think? Do you think I have reasons to worry or concern, considering he added his profile yesterday? I also wonder whether he'll change his profile to say he's "In a relationship" once he sees mine... It just upsets me that he is listing himself as single, even though he is not there to date, he will still be getting in touch with friends (possibly exes too) he hasn't seen in years.

Am I making too much of a big deal here? For now I have decided not to mention anything, but should I say something?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 12:32pm

Funny, I just invited my BF to join my Friendsters last week too but he put “in a relationship” just like me.

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 12:37pm
See, he put up a profile, before I invited him, as I really don't use the site. Today I invited him to join my friends list, and I'm waiting to see whether he'll see my "in a relationship" and decide to change it. Either way it still upsets me, but not sure if it's worth bringing it up...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 12:40pm

If it bothers you, bring it up, otherwise, it's going to fester and manifest itself in some really ugly way.

Which is why guys get that really bewildered expression on their faces when their SO blows up because he didn't put his dirty glass in the dishwasher. It's not really about the dirty dish - it's about the double-look he gave the hottie at the mall three months ago.

KWIM?


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 1:01pm

You know what; he probably put that up before you became exclusive and/or forgot about it. I forgot about my friendsters add too until last week and updated my status.

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 1:25pm
See, the problem is he posted his profile YESTERDAY... This morning he had his profile text as married, that I was going for sure ask him about that (I know he's not married so I was going to make fun of him), but then went I went back today it was as single, so he obviously took a good look at the options, even being incredibly distracted and all...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 1:32pm
Talk to the dude, why don't you? If you're in a relationship, you discuss concerns!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 2:39pm

Ask him and let us know what he says. Good luck.

The Small Peanut

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 2:59pm

My coworker told me to write him an email saying this: By the way, I have myself as "in a relationship" but saw you there as single, should I change my profile to single as well? :)

My male coworker said to give him a chance to change it, since he'll see my profile, and only question him if he doesn't change after that...

This whole thing bothers me, but I'm just not sure if it's worth risking making the two of us upset for something that at the end of the day is really not that big of a deal, it's not like he acts like he's single.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 3:00pm
Ask him flat out and in person. Those emails will get you into trouble, imho.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 3:07pm

Don’t do this on email; trust me on this one. Do it in person and when you’re both in a good mood.

 
 

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