interest in them not returned
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interest in them not returned
| Wed, 04-13-2005 - 4:34pm |
For those of you who have met someone from an online dating site, and emailed, phoned, and/or met in person, have started to have feelings for them and have them tell you they're not interested in a relationship with you. Please let me know how you felt and how you dealt with it. Thanks.

Hmmm...Well it depends on how many dates you had with them.. I mean if it was only one date I wouldn't have developed "feelings" for them so quickly.
When I first started OLD I took everything SO personally. I soon realized that guys come and go quickly and it's just the nature of the beast and NOT a reflection on me.
While it's always disappointing to be "turned down", you have to move on and say "Next". There's not much else you can do. Get back on the horse and meet some new guys.
Good luck.
Honestly? It's devastating. And it happened to me a few times.
What I learned: not to get attached for a very long time, until HE wants to get attached. In the meantime, I have my own life, do my own thing, etc., and when HE wants to come around it's by his choice.
But it took me getting stomped on several times to figure that out. The latest guy I've been seeing for the past two years is talking now about moving in together and taking our relationship to the next level. HE brought it up. So I feel like I have played my cards the right way this time.
This just happened to me a week ago. The person was emailing me every day and I would have to say my impression is she was a little more into it than I was (I'm never eager for a lengthy email/phone cycle before meeting). I did not get involved with the person emotionally however so the rejection was no big deal.
What was a very big deal is I didn't pick up the signals. During dinner she showed every sign of enjoying herself. She gave me the "enjoyed meeting you" email which read like most others. Then a followup email a few hours later with the "not what I'm looking for".
No biggie. The killer was that I completely mis-read her -- which has caused me to question how to really tell if people are being polite or are really interested.
And I've had probably 10 meets and based on the feedback here I don't think my good meet / bad meet ratio is off. I've had meets where I thought they went terrible - and got a phone call 2 weeks later to go out. Sometimes you just have to figure that you'll never fully understand the actions of someone who is essentially a stranger to you.
>>Please let me know how you felt and how you dealt with it.<<
Um, it kinda sucks, and I dealt with it the same way that guys have been dealing with rejection for about a million years; I was a bit bummed, then moved on.
Welcome to life. Not just OLD, but life.