Does anyone else ever feel like this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Does anyone else ever feel like this?
4
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 9:49am

Hey all,

I've been here reading, but not posting unless I had something inyelligent to say, which is rare these days LOL!

Does anyone else go through OLD "phases"? Sometimes it feels like I am on a mission to find a guy and that my life will be over if I don't (LOL!) and other times I couldn't give a hoot. If it happens, great. If it doesn't, I'm not about to slit my wrists anytime soon.

I must be in one of my "couldn't give a hoot" phases right now. It's getting on to busy season here down on the "farm". Time to do yard work, plan out the perennial garden and prepare the ground for the veggies, and I MUST paint the porch this spring. Should have done it last year, but we won't go there :-) Have a very small window of opportunity there....gotta get it done before the Morning Glories start spouting and climbing up the porch railings.

Anyway, I've had 2 dates with someone I met on match and although I'm not exactly thrilled with him, I'd probably go out with him again if he asked. If he disappeared today, I wouldn't be heartbroken. Maybe my tune would change if I met someone who I didn't feel so "ho hum" about.

Anyone else feel like this?

ABM

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 10:51am

All the time!!!

I think it may be because it just takes to much mental energy to "want" someone all the time. OLD is also just tiring at times.

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 11:03am

I've been on a little break from OLD since my last attempt was SO disappointing. Not been posting much since I had so little to say.

Yeah, now I'm back on Match and making a few contacts, so it definitely seems to go in phases. Sometimes it's best to just concentrate more on yourself for a while! It kind of put me back on track to get out there again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 5:10pm

Hi AnneB,

I think I felt like that the Majority of the time on OLD, and that I could tell it was a self-protective mechanism, as well. One I was often Very glad I had in place...like a cloaking device; they could see the Cupcake, but not what kind of filling there was, so I was safe.

Does make you feel like you are on auto-pilot a bit, huh? Numb-ish. Again, not a bad thing, just make sure it does not take a left turn at apathy and head for depression. As far as what 'works' per OLD, that is up to each person to decide, but it sure was hard when you finally Did care and then the orient Express came along, and your heart was the only track that thing could cross the prarie on! Ouch! and All aboard!

Hang in there....good times, they are a'comin'....

Truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 6:04pm

>>I've been here reading, but not posting unless I had something inyelligent to say<<

Oh my God, I really hope that's not a criteria we ALL are expected to use. I'd never have anything to say. ;)

To answer your question... there's ALWAYS phases. You are out of work for a while, suddenly you have three job offers come in POW-POW-POW. You're single forever, you meet someone nice, get into a steady relationship with them, and then out of the blue there's potential matches everywhere you look.

OLD, same deal. It comes and goes in phases. What I suggest to people is that when they're in a "burned out" phase, they take some time off and recenter their own lives/happiness.

And that's the best time to write a profile, too- when you're feeling good and happy. If you write one in the aftermath of a breakup, that's going to come through in your writing, and it'll be a long, cold phase in OLD!