Need Input

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Need Input
3
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 10:49am

I sent an icebreaker to this guy and he wrote me a note about where he was from why he was in AZ and a few other things. He writes very well and dang it, he is CUTE!! But this kind of bugs me:

Perhaps you and I can find some solace within one another. I certainly am interested in us "bonding" (smiling.)

To me this sounds like he is just looking for sex. Am I reading too much into it?

Thanks for the input!!

Claribeth

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cbmroz
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 11:11am

Sounds like it to me. Even without the "bonding" comment, if he's seeking "solace" in another person, sounds kind of lonely and desperate. We all need to find solace in being okay with ourselves before we can be ready to connect with someone else without being needy.

I don't get it. Of COURSE we all want some physical comfort/excitement but why do some people feel the need to be so blatant about it? It does tend to give the impression that that's all they're after.

You could always give the benefit of the doubt, respond to the rest of the letter without any sexual overtones, and see what he says a second time around. Sometimes we get overly enthusiastic before we stop to think about it. If he seems like a nice guy otherwise, this could just be a flag but not a dealbreaker.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
In reply to: cbmroz
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 12:00pm
Was that the whole message? Hard to say without seeing context but what you wrote I read as an inquiry as to whether you'd like to be FWB or FB with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
In reply to: cbmroz
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 12:35pm

Thanks Phoenixmama and LG. I just wanted to be sure.

I need to start trusting my instincts. I'd passed up his profile several times, but (I hate to admit this) felt compelled to send the icebreaker because he is FINE!!!

Oh, well NEXT!!