Athletic n'Toned, yeah right...
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| Mon, 04-18-2005 - 10:23am |
Good Morning Compadres ! We are off to having a stellar day here in the Midwest and temps are anticipated to reach mid to upper seventies :) Its already Super sunny and Awesome !
Anyways wanted to share some thoughts with you all about another first meet that I recently had this past weekend. I'll start by saying that I am certainly learning alot about 'OLD' by going on first meets with people. Lesson #3 in class OLD 101 has taught me that some people really don't represent themselves truthfully!
The guy I met with stated in his profile that he was 6'2'' and athletic n'toned. NOT!
Lets try again! How about more like 5'10'' and definately not toned. I guess I should have been more alert to and suspected that when all there was in the person's profile was
face pics only.... It gets better, the person talked about themself the entire time and how he was such a great guy. Didn't bother to ask any questions about me (i.e. interests, my family etc). I think the word egocentric is rather appropriate at this point...
And without getting into alot of detail, lets just say the person was far too versed and savvy about where the best pool tables could be found in the city.Guess what we did during the majority of our first meet. Yes my friends, I had a first meet with someone who hustles the tables for $$$$.
At the end of our meet as we were heading back to my car/when he dropped me off back at my car, he indicated that he was going back out to shoot/play some more...
The next day he shoots me a followup email wanting to know what I think is attractive about him. Is it time to say the word 'egocentric' again ?
Do I even bother to answer this guy's email ? And if so, how do I tactfully & politely let him know in the email response that I'm not feeling the mutual 'click' ???????
Or, Do i come straight out and tell him what I really thought ????
Sidebar thought; Some people's profiles are very misleading !
However, on a more positive note, I did receive an email yesterday from a Physician that is interested in getting to know me... Haven't decided whether or not to respond to that one either.
One thing that I do know for sure, is that I am going to totally spend alot of time outside today soaking up all the beautiful weather! :) LM

I can forgive a man's delusion about his own looks, but two things say block/ignore:
1. pool hustler
2. talking/emailing about himself
I would file him in the "bad date" folder.
My intuition and initial gut reaction to this first meet is on the same wavelength as your response. I guess, because I haven't dated alot recently in the real world or through the means of 'old', I wasn't quite sure if it was an expected thing/or protocol if a person is suppose to/or is obligated to respond after a first meet....
We did go 'dutch' on the food related tab so from that standpoint, I do feel as if I did the right thing in that regard... LM
Good morning! The sun is out today I am hoping it stays out all day.
IMO, nobody should be expected to contact/respond to a first-date. I see it as a passive, non-offensive way of saying "sorry, we're not a match". Most people get the hint, but there are some.....thank God for the blocking option!
Ugh! What a loser! Yes the lying about the physical attributes and the fact he is a pool hustler are both very unattractive qualities and enough to warrant a quick "NEXT!". And that email is over the top - "What do you find attractive about me?". Ick.
While is might be fun to tell him all what you DON'T find attractive about him, I think that it is more than appropriate to answer his email with a "It was nice meeting you the other night, but I don't feel that we are a match.". Send, delete and block. No reason to expand on his short-comings (although they are many).
And go for it with the physician! Who knows? It could be great!
Well, here in Texas, we have clouds but we had a beautiful weekend so I can't complain. :-)
LM, I like vexer's approach although,
I too would be tempted to reply with
everything I didn't like about him!
Good luck w/ the Doc!
Hi LM,
I agree with the others to block him. I wouldn't even bother with a polite response to him. He is a very insecure person needing to ask what you find attractive about him! Geez he does sound like a total loser pool hustler! Hmmmmm....
The doctor sounds much more promising, although I have gone out with some of them that are total jerks also. Just because they make good money doesn't mean they are good guys. One was so into himself, the "God complex", all he could do was inform me about how great he was and there was no interest in him asking anything about me at all.
I ended up having to block him because he couldn't get the hint that I wasn't interested in him and kept asking why I wasn't emailing him back after we had went out once. I was so happy I never gave him my phone number! I was tempted to tell this idiot what I thought of him but knew it wouldn't make one bit of a difference, so why even waste my time! He *KNEW* just how great he was! NOT!!!!!!!! Next!!!!!!!!
Yes LM, many people lie about their looks and body size in OLD. For some reason there are many guys who I believe, *think* they are athletic and toned because maybe they play one game of some sport once per month or think because they *like* sports and watch sports, that they are athletic and toned - who knows!
They also use old pics in which they *were* more fit, so beware of that also. I learned to ask them how recent their pics were. It's a legitimate question after all! If they act weird about the question, then I know right away that they are old pics and that they don't look like that anymore.
Good luck with the OLD. There are good possibilities in OLD - sometimes it just takes awhile to find the good ones! I've been seeing a great guy for almost 3 months now and had almost given up on OLD just before we met.
Sunshine
You most certainly do NOT tell him he's egocentric. Two reasons. First, it's not your place to do so; second, it wouldn't sink in, anyway. It's the kind of thing that someone has to figure out for themselves.
I think you send him an email saying "well, actually, we're not a match. Thanks for meeting me the other night, good luck in your search."
Then block him.
He deserves a fair answer; you don't have to tell him the whole, unvarnished truth. Besides, let's face it, odds are it'd be at least a little bit to make yourself feel good- at the cost of telling him off.
I vote for emailing him but short and sweet- you're not a match, thanks, good luck, buh-bye.
And I always add on at the end: please take this as final. I haven't had any problems.
I don't know why people would ask to be told what's wrong with them, but I am positive anything (even "you're too good for me") would offend. Why go there?