Giving a guy a compliment

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Giving a guy a compliment
6
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 7:48pm
some of you might remember "therapy guy" from about a month ago. We went out for coffee a couple of times and he'd talk to me about his ex-girlfriend that broke up with him in Nov. that he dated for 18 months right after getting divorced. Anyway, we still email about once a week and he's told me he "considers me a friend and in his book that means alot". (Kinda like saying 'gee beav, you sure are swell!')
Okay my question is this...I saw him tonight at the YMCA (haven't seen him in a month) he came over to the bike I was riding and we chatted, and he looked GREAT! and I mean GREAT! Black nylon shorts with a gray tank shirt. Nice biceps that looked like he got alittle sun this weekend. I want to send him an email saying it was nice to see him and that it looks like "working out" is really "working for him"! LOL (wink wink) But I don't want to come across as too flirtateous. Should I tell him he looked handsome? I know we all like to get a compliment every now and then but I don't want to over do it. Would you send an email and if so how would you word it?
Thanks guys.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 8:01pm

I know you have good intentions, but I wouldn't contact him at all.

It's kind of sending mixed signals...hey I noticed you're lookin hot, but no, I still don't want to go out with you...KWIM?


Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 8:10pm

I think the moment for saying something passed...it would have been fine to say, "hey, you're looking great" in person, but it would be weird to say it in email, IMO.

Why not wait until you run into him at the gym again to compliment him?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 8:15pm
Actually I would really like to go out with him but he's the one that say's he's been jaded against relationships and doesn't want to get hurt. (I guess he was on a dating site to boost his ego).
On paper, he's pretty much exactly what I'm looking for without the baggage! It's too bad.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 10:09pm

Jeepers, nobody has raised HJNTIY in months -- so I will and believe it is probably pretty close to true in this situation. Guys who are into you don't make excuses. The book has a funny (and cruder) way of putting it. But in essence any BS excuse is just code for not interested. Plus he used the "friend" card too...

Run - unless you enjoy spending lots of time wondering and wondering and wondering.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 10:34am
call me stupid, I already know I'm a glutten (sp?) for punishment, but I emailed him. I said I hope it doesn't come out wrong or over step anything or sound dorky but I thought he looked handsome at the gym this evening. Then I chit chatted about the work week, etc.
He replied with "thank you, that was sweet. I've nevered considered myself handsome, holey-moley. Have a great week and keep in touch for sure." So, I stroked his ego alittle. Maybe it'll help him get past his ex and move on...to me!!! LOL LOL just kidding. I know, I know... HJNTIY
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 12:22pm

No, it would be too weird to send an email at this point. It's too far past the appropriate time. The proper time would have been at that moment to make an off-handed comment - "Wow you look great!" - but to send an email later, that shows you've been thinking about it.

I would leave this guy alone. I know you like him and everything, but when a guy says he "thinks a lot about you and you're a great friend" - pff - might as well not even bother. He's saying he's not interested in anything else than being pals.