Opinions Wanted

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Opinions Wanted
8
Sat, 07-02-2005 - 9:45pm
I'm new to this on-line dating. I joined eharmony the beginning of April. I liked the idea that everybody and anybody couldn't see my picture. The idea of one of my students seeing me on a dating site freaked me out .:)They would neverlet me live it down. :)I met two people. One I talked to everyday for two months, but that ended. (He has too many issues. He is in the process of a divorce and always was bashing the ex-wife when he was the one that did the cheating!) Anyway, though I could have met up with one other guy, I'm not thrilled with this on-line dating site. On-line dating was not something I thought I would ever do, even though I'm pretty out going. Since many of you have obviously doing this for awhile, what is your opinions of the different on-line dating services out there? Thanks for any feed back! Have a great 4th of July!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
In reply to: momma215
Sat, 07-02-2005 - 10:58pm

Hi and welcome. We've discussed eHarmony at length on this board (not for a while though) and the general consensus is a thumbs down. Most of the people here seem to use match.com or yahoo personals.

For more info on different dating sites, check this link on our website:
http://members.tripod.com/cl-jhoover21-ivil//id57.html

Avatar for cutiekitty516
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2003
In reply to: momma215
Sat, 07-02-2005 - 11:51pm

I have used many of the OLD sites, and I would agree that eharmony.com is a thumbs down...for one, I think the price

    
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
In reply to: momma215
Sun, 07-03-2005 - 9:09am
Thanks for the input. I've read some of the other threads and definitely learned some things I didn't know. I didn't know people who didn't subscribe could get matches on eharmony. It defintitely explains a lot. I'm beginning to learn about "ghosting" too. I don't understand that at all. I've always believed in being honest with someone I'm dating or potentially could be dating. If I'm not interested, I politely end it. It stinks to be left hanging. I hate it so I won't put anyone else through it. Anyway, thanks again. I might try match after the eharmony thing runs out. I stil haven't gotten comfortable with the idea that everybody can find out I'm on a dating site.
Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
In reply to: momma215
Sun, 07-03-2005 - 9:20am

Well, it IS embarrassing when someone you know makes a big deal out of seeing you on a dating site. But, you could always turn the tables & ask them why THEY were looking at a dating site.

I've stumbled upon 2 of my male co-workers' personal ads, one on Match, one on Yahoo. They've probably seen mine, too. But, it's never mentioned because none of us has any place to rib the other since we're all using the sites. I have a whacked out work schedule, so meeting guys in real life is not really feasible for me right now. I've had some awesome relationships, awful ghosts & some funny (and Seinfeldian) meets over the years. But, it only takes one to be the one, so I keep hoping I'll eventually find him. If not, I'm happy regardless. Forget about what others think of you. If they're married, they're probably jealous. If they're single, you'll end up with more dates anyway, so just enjoy the ride & never take anything a man does personally. If he ghosts after one date, or even after a lot of emails, it's never personal. He never got to know you enough to truly reject YOU.

Chin up & be proud!

Annie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
In reply to: momma215
Sun, 07-03-2005 - 11:10am
Just FYI, if you are really concerned about someone seeing your profile; Match & Yahoo both have a hidden profile function, which means that you don't have to have your profile viewable to everyone else, unless of course, you choose to contact someone. This is also nice in the fact that you do the choosing & don't have a lot of people contacting you that you aren't interested in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
In reply to: momma215
Sun, 07-03-2005 - 11:54am

My sister in Hawaii - she has a friend who met and married his wife off eharmony and are supposedly the most compatible couple she's ever seen so now she's convinced it's the best therefore she's going to join. She's also not doing well financially and i told her match would be a wiser choice for her or yahoo but she won't listen. So I'll let her find out.

Yes it's fun doing the personality test on eharmony and I did the trial a year or two ago - I was NOT impressed. I think doing match is hard enough, 90% of the guys I'm NOT attracted to and lets face it chemistry is the foundation that brings someone together. No matter how great someone writes if he looks like a sailer on a ship and all is missing is his patch eye, sorry but it won't be happening. With eharmoney they make you jump thru hoops to get a picture. As much as I complain about guys looking right at the pictures of me/us instead of reading I do know that there are a great deal that do read as well as look at the picture so I'd rather deal with match.com. Also on eharmony, they matched me up with guys WAY out of my age range and LOCATION range, places I've never heard of and dating someone in my area is a MUST.

Also, I'm not looking to date ME and that's how they base those personality match ups. I want someone similiar but not a mirrior and they seemed to do that.

I don't work for match or anything but I will say it's the largest, most widely advertised therefore your selecition will be a lot larger. Like anything in life yes you'll have fakes, yes you'll men who don't read your profile and send out chain letters but that's just par for the course.

However if you decide to do eharmony good luck and keep us posted.

SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: momma215
Sun, 07-03-2005 - 3:48pm

I have found that eharmony brings very few matches. It is expensive and disappointing at best. Most are not members and don't respond. The ones that have replied have not had acceptable situations - argumentive lawyer, rich guy who wants to travel and have me leave kids with nanny for months, someone who is a workaholic and has had multiple marriages, psychologist/motivational speaker who is looking forward to redoing my life, etc... Like what normal guy would fill out 500 answers to questions that don't make sense. I want someone fun and spontaneous with a young mind.

match.com and yahoo have possibilities.

I stay away from the "chatsies" - those sites where you can chat in an IM format - what a waste of time - guys who just want to chat and seem to get sexual online all the time. No thank you!!

signature
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
In reply to: momma215
Sun, 07-03-2005 - 10:13pm
Thanks again. Since I've been on eharmony ( March 30th), I have been sent over 100 matches, but I have to agree with the distance thing. The guy I was chatting with for two months, ect that Imentioned, lived 5 1/2 hours away. I only really chated with a handful. Either they respond and then ghost, as I now know the term :), don't respond, or one of us just isn't interested. I know I shut a lot out due to distance or height. I don't want to seem shallow, but 5'8" and way taller with heels. I just feel uncomfortable with shorter men.