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| Sun, 07-03-2005 - 7:30pm |
I have been communicating with this guy online for about three weeks. I usually like to meet up as soon as possible if I am interested, because for me I don't know if I like a guy until I meet him in person. Anyways, my main problem is most of the men I am attracted to live far away, this one is 50 miles, and from my experience men want a girl close to where they live. I gave him my phone number (he has never called) and he gave me his and told me to call him (which I did- left a message). We have sort of been playing tag online this past week, just missing each other. Early on he asked if we were going to meet up, and I suggested that weekend at the time, but he never said anything. I was finally tired of the situation, so I told him to call me if he was ever interested in meeting. I don't know, it is sort of disappointing because I thought he was a guy I might really like and in the past three months I have been on 5 disappointing first dates, so I feel like I am getting desperate. But I am thinking this is not a good situation, and maybe I should just forget him? Any thoughts?

I am sorry for your disappointment. I would feel exactly the same way, because I don't connect easily with people and when I do I kind of get excited about it.
A couple of thoughts on your post:
My OLD style is to get offline and up close and personal asap. I don't want to get my hopes up only to have them dashed if Lover Boy turns out to be a liar, a dud, or completely delusional about his looks and personality. And because I know that a great deal of the OLD men seem to be content with being email buddies, I am instantly wary when a meet-up is not planned right away, and even avoided by LB. This is a red flag to me. So my questions about your LB are: why hasn't he called you? After bringing up meeting, why didn't he pursue plans to do just that? Fishy.
Next, what a drag for you that your potential matches seem to live far away! Is a LDR okay with you? If so, IN ADDITION to this FANTASTIC message board where ALL are welcome -- iVillage has a Long Distance Relationship board that could help you.
But I really suggest that you take a look at your must haves again. I'm sorry, but it seems incredible that you can find no one of interest in your area.
Good luck!
amjay
I think you did exactly the right thing--you put the ball in his court by telling him to call you if and when he wanted to meet. And you should leave it at that...if he doesn't call, or doesn't want to arrange a meeting when he calls, then there's nothing further that you should do.
I know OLD can be a disappointing, frustrating process, but don't ignore red flags or lower your standards just so you can find someone to date.
Sheri