Eharmony (and AdultFriendFinder)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
Eharmony (and AdultFriendFinder)
15
Sun, 07-10-2005 - 2:44pm

In my time doing OLD, I have tried Match.com, Yahoo Personals, and Webdate. I have still yet to try EHarmony, mainly because of some of the things I have read about it here. It's definitely marketed differently than most of the other sites, in that they make it seem like the people on it might tend to be more serious about dating and relationships. I say that because I have read that not everyone that applies gets to be a member -- it "screens" for people with depression or those that might not be emotionally healthy enough to date.

Anyway, I'm skeptical. When I do a search on Match, I see pretty much the same women every time. Then I go to Yahoo and I see those same women again (I'm sure they think the same about me). I guess I'm running out of online options. So, for those of you that tried EHarmony, does it at least seem to have some different faces than the other sites? I understand that even if that's the case in your area, it might not apply to mine, but it would at least indicate some promise.

BTW, on a side note, I was *seriously* considering trying "AdultFriendFinder.com". I know, it seems really bad, but I actually entered a free profile out there out of curiosity (no name or photo or ANYTHING that would identify me, of course), and over a few months I get an amazing amount of hits from women in my area, which is not the case on the regular dating sites. I never replied to any of them, but I started wondering, maybe I could actually date a couple of women and say up front I'm looking for a LTR, not just one night sex. What do you all think? Bad idea? I have reservations about: 1) The type of woman I might find on a site like this -and- 2) I would never want ANYONE I know personally to know I was on that type of site, it's just not a good idea, would you agree?

Thanks for the input.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-10-2005 - 3:33pm

Hi Eric, given what you are looking for, I would definitely not post a profile there if I were you. In addition to the two reasons you mention, a third is that if I were considering dating someone I'd met on match or whatever, and I found out he had a profile on that site, he'd be chopped automatically, just out of the "ick" factor.

As for eharmony, I didn't have any luck, but why not fill out a profile (it takes a while but it's kind of interesting) and see what kind of matches they send you before signing up? I think men definitely have an advantage over women on that site so it's worth a shot for you!

I have the same issue with the same faces on match and yahoo; I recently posted a profile on mydate.com because there seemed to be more new faces on there (although there are plenty of match and yahoo guys as well). I just met a guy from that site today and while I'm not sure we're a match, I'd at least go out with him a 2nd time to see.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sun, 07-10-2005 - 5:33pm
I have to disagree with you on AFF - I joined there a few days back, more out of curiousity, and for sure many are just looking for sex, but I have had two decent conversations with regular people who are indeed looking for a LTR. It just takes common sense and reading the profiles thoroughly. I wonder whether people have become so jaded with the yahoo and match sites are moving on just to try something new.

A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
A woman must do what he can't.

MS
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-10-2005 - 6:23pm

Well, I personally just wouldn't be comfortable dating someone who had a profile on a site geared specifically towards finding sex partners (profiles that include such lovely categories as rating your penis), but to each his or her own. I have no problem with people seeking sex partners and being upfront about it (even though that's not what I'm looking for) but seeing such a profile by a man who claimed to be seeking an LTR would destroy any credibility he had, in my eyes.

Sheri




Edited 7/10/2005 10:05 pm ET ET by northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Sun, 07-10-2005 - 8:44pm
Eric--
I would have to say that I do not think you should post a profile on a site like that. I mainly say this because you are not the typical guy, in that you are actually looking for a LTR. I know how sensitive you are, and I would not want to see you become interested in someone on that site only to find out they only wanted to hook up. I think you would be very disappointed AGAIN. Just a friend's opinion :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 10:08am

I agree with Sheri in that you should give eHarmony a try and see what they have for you. Just don't subscribe. You have absolutely nothing to loose. In spite of some of the issues I had with them, I really can't complain. I met my current BF of 8 mos. there and it's going well. But it could've been just the "luck of the draw" too, ya know?

As far as AFF, um, well. What can I say? I mean how serious can these people be when, for the most part, the photos that are psoted are of their "private parts" or of people engaged in variuous "acts"? I think the "player" factor is very high at AFF. However, I have to give the members there credit. They are looking for sex (sometimes of a deviant nature) and are very up front about it. No guessing...kind of refreshing! LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 10:33am

Well, I've never used Adult Friend Finder, but I would go for it!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 10:43am

Eric, I've tried all of the sites you mentioned with the exception of AFF. Give eHarmony a try what have you got to lose? You most likely will see some of the same faces as on the other sites. On a couple of occasions I was even sent profiles of men I had seen on other sites. Obviously neither of us were interested in the other or we would have contacted each other thru the other sites so I immediately closed communication. Remember though you won't be able or see their pics until you pay up, and there is no browsing profiles. eHarmony does all the chosing for you.

I browsed AFF a time or two and actually saw some of the same men (same pics) who were on the other sites. That definitely crossed them off my list of possibilites if they ever contacted me. Personally, my advice would be to steer clear of women from that site. If they are posting that they looking for a LTR why put themselves on there to find it? Doesn't say much for their character to me. Actually, I think it screams desperate.

All the best,
Libra

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 10:54am

Hi Stacey...For the most part, I agree with you. However, the "ick" factor is way higher on AFF than on any other site, IMO. Lots of folks juat into cyber sex, one night stands, 3-ways, etc., which is OK for those that are into it. I guess it's a case of whether or not you want wade through all that "stuff".

I think it was Eric who met the woman who had a guy waiting in car outisde and she invited him out to the car? (I could be wrong, my memeory ain't what it used to be! LOL) Anyway, I just think that if meeting all those flaky folks on the other sites is burning someone out, then AFF may not be the way to go. The "flake" factor is also very high.

Is Craig's list really lower on the food chain than AFF? I never would've thunk!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 11:00am

Cgun, have you actually SEEN AdultFriendFinder???? Craig's List is definitely NOT lower on the scale than that!!! CL serves a legitimate community purpose on many levels (great place to sell stuff, for example)...AFF has no such redeeming qualities!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 11:16am
I have to agree with Sheri about AFF CGUN...especially after browsing it and seeing naked pics of men old enough to be MY grandpa (remember I'm 50). Totally disgusting!!

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