Not feeling any sparks!
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| Mon, 07-11-2005 - 12:36pm |
Hi everyone, I read all your postings and I enjoy reading them and listening to your advice. I need advice right now, if someone can help me, it's kind of long, but bare with me, please!
I met this nice guy online last week, we agreed to meet at a restaurant in a hotel near my house. I thought to myself that seems very nice since it's an expensive one and a took it as a good sign, he must have good taste. I arrived there and I am waiting for him to arrive, he arrives and I took a look at him and thought well he's goodlooking, but the clothes he was wearing weren't very presentable. He was wearing sweats and he was all sweaty and told me that he was coming from the gym and that he took the metro to get here (he's not driving right now, problems with his sight), so he walked several blocks to get here on time. So I thought oh well, he was rushing to meet me and that's why he is all out of breath and sweaty. Well, the date was very nice, he made me laugh and his personality seemed very normal. So he was like very impressed that I met with him and he said he was feeling very lucky to have met me and like he could not believe his good luck. Ok, I said to myself, I am attractive and I dress nice, but I don't expect anyone to tell me that on the first date, but regardless I took it as a good sign.
So we agreed to meet the next day. So I met him again at a place near work, a nice bar, we just met to talk a little bit more and get to know each other. Again, he's not wearing nice clothing, he's wearing sweats again and kind of funky shoes that do not go with his outfit. I had told him on our first date that I like a man who dresses nice for the occasion and that smells nice, I love cologne in men. So he has this funky smell, and I asked him did you wear any cologne? He said yes, can't you smell it, and I said no. Then he walks me to my car and he started kissing me and he was shaking! I find that kind of weird, I mean you kiss and see if there's something, I was trying to enjoy the moment but that turned me off. So I thought to myself he's just nervous, but he's nice so I may have to give him more time. So we agreed to another date. I don't want to sound too superficial so I want to give him another chance.
Next meeting was at my church, he lives two blocks from there. So we met again, and it's like 100 degrees outside and he's wearing a turtle neck and a leather jacket!, at least he's wearing nice pants, but the shoes he was wearing were like sleepers! Ouch! So I think that he does not have good taste in dressing, for me that's important, since normal people dress for the occasion. So I find this kind of odd, he is a music teacher, so you think guys that are into music don't care about their appearance? And it seemed like he did not even took a shower, so this smell again. I am feeling really bad because he called me and left a message saying the he enjoyed our time and wants to see me again! Now I don't know if I should just give him a chance, he's very nice, seems smart, has good conversation and is very respectable, he's the first guy I've met who hasn't tried to be fresh with me and take me to bed so soon, so I liked that, but he's appearance in clothing is not good. He's a mature man of 46 yrs old, so at this point I think that's they way he is? And I heard that if you like someone you have to like them and accept them as they are, and don't try to change them, but this is really bugging me. Any ideas on how to handle this?
Edited 7/11/2005 2:39 pm ET ET by hotkarina72

Oh dear.
I think there are just too many things you don't like about him. And it is not getting better with time.
And I don't think it would be better in time - this is his best!!
If it bothers you after three dates, you will absolutely want to open fire after three years.
Tracy