Anyone try Speed Dating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Anyone try Speed Dating?
14
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 11:29am

I was wondering if anyone on this board had tried speed dating? They are having an event (6-minute dating) in my area in August & was thinking about trying it. I like the idea of it being like a pre-date, a screening process of sorts. You don't have to fully commit yourself to a full length date if you don't end up liking the person.

If you have tried it; what was your experience with it? What are the pros & cons?

Any feedback would be great! Thanks.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 12:22pm

I have never done it, but I would like to try.

CL-Truewild1969

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 12:26pm
I did it in my small hometown - didn't meet too many quality guys. But I did make a great friend and we still keep in touch all of the time even though he moved to NY. So, for me it was definitely worth it because at least I made a friend. It was definitely a fun and different experience. I would recommend trying it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 2:26pm

Yeah, I've done it 3 times.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 2:48pm

Thanks for the positive comments. I thought it sounded like a lot of fun, too. I think it might help my outlook on it if I just go into to have fun & not expect too much. I'm going with a friend, so I think that will help my nerves. I will let you all know how it turns out.

ivdaisy~What exactly did you talk about in such a short amount of time? I think that's what is making me the most nervous; wondering how to fit the basics into such a short time frame. Any advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 3:20pm

Never tried it, although I don't think I have the right personality for it either. In fact, it sounds like it would be torture for me. :-)

I guess I just cringe at the idea of making small talk with someone for a few minutes, then moving on to the next person. Wouldn't all the conversations be the same? Like, "How are you?", "What do you do for a living?", "What do you do for fun?", etc. But again, I have never done it, so maybe it's not like that.

Anyway, I'm not into the making casual friends thing right now. Does that sound bad? I guess everyone could always use more friends, but I only want to date people who are also looking for an eventual LTR.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 3:52pm
It's been so long, but I think a lot of the conversation surrounded commenting on the speed dating event itself and other basic things like jobs, where you live, etc. Where I did it they actually had note cards on each of the tables with topics to discuss if you needed help initiating the conversation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 4:59pm

I did it once and would not do it again.

The people there seemed desparate and like they were looking for some imaginary figure - instead of real people in a more normal situation.

There was one rude NYer that stands out in my mind. Once he found out I have a kid he didn't want to spend any more time with me and only talked about himself and was very rude to me.

The funny thing is that I met a guy I know in real life who was looking - and we discovered we both were looking. We even have a lot of common interests - all my friends got excited - but you know what? He was the 47 - never been married - narcisstic commitmentphobe who dumped me on my birthday.

I did indicate "interested" about one guy there on the comment card and we went for a date - he was a hotelier from NH who was sick of dealing with his divorced wife and children so he moved down here. I got very bad vibes from him on our first and last date. Plus he wanted to travel all the time. Hadn't really found himself from his divorce - just wanted a quick fix.

I am beginning to think all of the guys online just want a quick fix and it is better to meet someone IRL doing what you are doing. I think the lawyer thing I posted about really flipped me out.

Sorry to ramble and sound sour....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 5:02pm

The positive things that speed dating gave me were:

- learn to look good and strike up conversation with anyone - kind of like practicing dating or blind dating
- just get out there
- learn that not everyone is a potential date - learn to screen and say no

I think one of my problems in the past was that I would think anyone who showed interest would be good and I would imagine all sorts of rosy things. I am now more cynical and this is for the better - just a dose of reality as to what is out there and what to be aware of.

I think that dating in mid life is a great challenge - to find someone available with similar/compatible interests who would want a relationship and have a heart that is able to fall in love again. I think this is going to take YEARS!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 5:13pm
Thanks for your response, Judy. It's ok to sound sour. I was looking for honest opinions (good or bad) & I got them. It's especially good to hear from someone that has tried it & knows what it's all about. Thanks again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Fri, 07-15-2005 - 9:46pm

Here are my three things to say about speed dating:

1- There was a TV "reality" show last summer based on speed dating. It was cute.

2- I would do it,

except for

3- The speed dating company that advertises around here has an odd concept. When you sign up you have to check off your age. The categories match women with slightly older men. That is, one category is for women 30 - 40 and men 35 - 45 (something like that). AND...guess what...there is NO category for women my age! LOL Guess they think we aren't "speedy" enough!

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