I think I've been ghosted

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
I think I've been ghosted
8
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 2:09pm

Well, I thought I had a fantastic first date last Wednesday. I had tickets to Jesus Christ Superstar, he offered to take me out to dinner beforehand. You could cut the chemistry with a knife, he didn't want the evening to end, but was a total gentleman. There was a sweet kiss at the end, & he said he had butterflies for the first time in ages. (I did too, but was trying to play it cool).

Anyway, I sent an email the next day saying I had a lot of fun, would love to get together again. He had actually said the same thing the night before. He sent we an email the next day afetr that, which would be Friday, & here it is verbatim:

Annie-
Was fun, wasn't it? I would like to get together again as well- looks
like we'll be playing a bit by ear due to our schedules. Hopefully we
can work something out for next week sometime-
Jason

So, I sent him an email again over the weekend saying he can call me when he gets a better idea about his schedule. I work nights/weekends, so I don't have the best schedule for a social life at the moment. I told him he could call in the evening while I'm working because I'm usually bored & would love the break from monotony.

Here it is Wednesday & not a peep from him. I had last contact, so I'm trying my darndest to not try to email or call again, so as to not be pushy. Then again, he said about that his schedule this week would be troublesome, so perhaps he's just busy.

Thoughts?

Yes, I have other guys in line, so he is NOT the end-all, but it had been years since I've clicked with a guy like this, so I was really hopefuly for at least a few more dates.

Annie

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 3:27pm

I think we've all been in this situation...great rapport/chemistry, an indication that he wants to see us again...and then nothing. So, I hope you're not taking it personally.

I always assume I'm NOT going to hear from the other person regardless of what they say or do...that makes it much easier for me. So in your shoes I would just go on with my life, and if he calls, great, if not, oh well.

Sheri

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 4:13pm

Yeah, I agree. He may be busy or he may be ghosting me. Luckily, I have a second date with a guy, who I didn't feel sparks with on the first date, but we got along well, had fun & he's not unattractive. So, I thought I'd give him another chance & see if any sparks fly.

Annie

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Sun, 07-24-2005 - 7:20pm

Well, I'm calling myself officially ghosted by this guy. Still no word via phone OR email since the last contact. His loss. It sucks, but at least it showed me that nothing is wrong with me. It had been ages since I felt real chemistry with a guy on a date, so at least I now know that it's not me. LOL!

I actually think I'm going to take a little break from OLDing. I've been wanting to shed about 30 pounds, so I'm going to focus on that right now, then jump back in when I'm even more hot than I am right now. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Mon, 07-25-2005 - 4:15pm

I think you should have waited, after the first date, for *him* to contact *you*. I know sometimes waiting is hard, but if a man is really, really interested, he *will* contact you. It would be wise to not send him any more emails. At this point, he knows he can call, he knows you are interested in another date; and it may seem to him that you are betgging him for a date or something like that. He may feel pressured to see you again soon - even if it was not your intention to pressure him.

Next time, just wait. If he's seriously interested, nothing can stop him from contacting you again.

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Mon, 07-25-2005 - 8:51pm
Well, I only sent one email after the date, which he replied to. So, I replied back, but then never got a repsonse after that, nor have I tried contacting him since, as it was his turn. Today I saw the "Online Now" on his profile on Match. I decided to remove his profile from my searches on there, just so I'm not further tempted or ticked off by seeing his profile.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 12:00am

Good move.

Obviously this guy can't communicate. He's demonstrated this by his disappearing act. You deserve better!

Good luck!
OG01

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 12:06pm

Just a suggestion: next time, wait for the guy to initiate contact after the date. If he is really *into* you, he will contact you again.

There is also a book I recommend, called "The Rules for Online Dating". It has some very helpful information.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 3:32pm

It has always been in my experience to send a cordial email letting him know that you had a good time.

CL-Truewild1969

For further information regarding OLD including FAQ please visit our OLD Website at;