Thank you for your response re..........

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2005
Thank you for your response re..........
6
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 2:15pm
when is the right time to become exclusive. 6-8 weeks seemed to be the time to have the discussion. Here's my question.... have you slept with the person within that time and dated others? Do you sleep with them at all if you haven't had that discussion? Thanks all. NJG
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 2:38pm

No, I don't sleep with a guy until we've specifically discussed the issue and agreed to be exclusive, and I prefer to wait to be exclusive until we've been dating steadily for at least 6-8 weeks so I can get to know him well enough to know if he's someone I *want* to be exclusive with. I will continue to date others in the meantime.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 2:57pm
I would not sleep with him until we've "had the talk".
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 12:20pm

I sleep with them when I feel like I want to sleep with him.

CL-Truewild1969

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Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 12:30pm

The right time is an individual matter I think. 6-8 weeks sounds about right to me, but some people feel that's too soon. In my last relationship we discussed exclusivity immediately after having sex for the first time (he brought it up believe it or not!) and that was about 3 weeks into the relationship.

I've been seeing someone for a little over 7 weeks and we just had the talk the other night. I asked what his intentions were and he said he'd like to explore a relationship with me but he wasn't clear on what type of relationship. And I didn't press him to talk about it. We need to discuss it a little more before I get too involved I think. One thing to keep in mind is that the talk doesn't have to be a one-time thing. It can/should be ongoing perhaps.

I had tentative plans to meet someone in another state in a couple of weeks and another date scheduled for Friday. I realized last night that it just wouldn't be fair to anyone for me to see the out-of-state guy so I called him last night and told him about the situation, apologized and said I wouldn't be coming to visit. I have yet to cancel the Friday date, but I may do it by the end of today.

I really don't want to see other people once I start getting very involved with someone, and usually that does happen around 6-8 weeks. (Although I remember a brief flurry of dating a few years ago, while I was with someone who admitted to cheating on me ... so it really varies.)

In general, I've started to feel very strongly that if I'm being sexual I need exclusivity. For some reason I didn't include this in my talk the other night, but I'm looking forward to doing so in a few days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 1:01pm

I haven’t read the other posts but you can’t go on timeframes (no absolutes with relationships) – you have to go on your own comfort level. If you read the various boards there are folks that met, had sex on date one and lived happily ever after. Some that had sex before the exclusivity talk and others that waited a month, 6 weeks or 2 months or longer to become exclusive. There are some people you connect with right away and you have the talk as it’s so natural.

I’ve done it, had sex then the talk – still single ha. I’ve also waited 3 weeks, 1 month – longest was 2.5 months, had sex, became exclusive then broke up a month later, ha! If your the type to get emotionally attached after sex and start wondering what your guy is up to or if he’s dating or checking up on him on the dating sites – if that fits your personality your better off waiting on the sex until u have the talk otherwise you’ll drive yourself batty and start making assumptions – check out some of the posts on these boards – that’s very common.

Whatever you do – try to enjoy your new relationship and when it feels right for YOU not everyone else you’ll know!!!

SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 1:21pm
Very well said Ms. Peanut!!

CL-Truewild1969


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