just a question

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
just a question
9
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 7:25am
Does it ever bother you if there's a guy that contacts you and you start emailing and chatting on IM and you like what he's saying and hope he'll keep contacting you? He does but it's only every few days and on the other days, you see he's online chatting with somebody else. I know that's what everybody does, I do it too sometimes, but I guess it bothers me more when somebody does it to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 9:51am

Usually if that happens I assume they aren't interested and NEXT them. A good trick is to delete them from your buddylist, don't initiate contact, and usually you forget about them long before they IM you again. Those are guys just looking for some ego-stroking, not to be taken seriously at all.


We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 11:06am

<<>>

Dream:
The way to deal with that...is the next time you have those feelings is to put yourself in their place. Since YOU know you don't mean any harm when talking to someone else...REMEMBER they may have innocent intentions as well...or a life before you...or whatever reasons YOU do the same thing.

You answered your own question really...you just have to APPLY this self awareness to others. This is what you learn in life...from experience.

chin up,
Lizzie

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 11:16am

No, it doesn't bother me...I don't like to talk everyday to someone I don't know yet anyway. And that's one of the reasons I don't IM early in the dating process (especially before we've even met)...who needs that extra stress of seeing when someone is online, etc? It just makes things more complicated than they have to be, IMO.

Sheri




Edited 8/2/2005 1:23 pm ET ET by northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 11:32am
..


Edited 8/2/2005 1:55 pm ET ET by kneesinthebreeze
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 11:41am
.


Edited 8/2/2005 1:01 pm ET ET by northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 12:27pm

IMO, I find IMing to be rather intrusive and just don't do it. In the world of OLD I don't recommend it because it gives the guy such easy access to you and I believe you gotta make them put some effort into it, especially in the early stages.

I do realize that for many people IMing is a way of life, because it is so easy to connect with people and it's also a form of entertainment. Like you said, everybody is doing it, so to feel slighted by a guy you haven't even met yet (I think I read that right) is putting unreal expectations where there isn't even a relationship yet. OLD is the biggest meet market ever. What's good about it is also what's bad about it...all the opportunities.

You just have to develop a thick skin and use your instincts and forums like this website to help you weed out the idiots.

Good Luck!
Chele

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 12:55pm
yes, it would bother me too.
I met with this guy on Sunday and he e-mailed me the same night wanting to go out again. But we didn't even exchanged phone numbers! I thought it was a little strange. We made plans to meet next Sun but I am considering canceling. He is on-line every day and I take is that he just isn't that interested otherwise he would be trying a little harder, I guess.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 1:45pm

Sheri what happened? Why are you in pain? I thought you guys moved in with each other at christmas time? color me confused. But then again if I was really paying attention you wouldn't be online dating either.DUH...I'm sorry for whatever happened. Sometimes I'm pretty dense. LOL

Hugs!




Edited 8/2/2005 1:52 pm ET ET by sniffle_sally
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 2:02pm

Oh I didn't know. I don't go to the long distance board.

Oops. Sorry sheri. Hugs.