Want to do this right

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2006
Want to do this right
3
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 8:25pm
I saw his profile on Match.com and winked. He gave me his number and we talked on the phone a few times and finally met last Sat. We really hit it off. We will have our 2nd date this Friday and have talked on the phone a couple more times. I love the fact that we are talking openly about our families and sharing a bit about past relationships, while also cracking jokes and making each other laugh. It is a definite connection. I want to take it slow yet, I feel so good about what is happening here. I am afraid that the phone is making it too easy to assume a level of commitment that can't be achieved until we've spent more face time together. I am actually excited but very nervous for our first kiss as our first date ended with a great hug. My mind is wandering even more and I am especially nervous about starting a sexual relationship with someone again (broke up w/ year-long BF in Jan.) I know we've only had one REAL date, but I know how this kind of attraction progresses. Our comfort level grows with each conversation. I am scared of screwing things up. I am scared of being too serious about him right off the bat. I am scared of over-analyzing the crap out of it so that I can't let go and fall in love again. What is a girl to do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 12:50am

I'd try to avoid getting too worked up over the what if's and maybe's. Dating should be exciting and fun...not a nerve wracker. If you are having serious qualms about repeating the past, maybe you aren't quite ready for dating again just yet.

Do you feel as though you've given yourself enough time to recuperate from the breakup?

If so, then just try to enjoy yourself and see how things progress.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 9:50pm
I think your feelings are telling you things might happen too fast. Sometimes I get excited about someone, but I'm determined to try to pace myself. It's good if the excitement can wear-off between dates, just so one can get their perspective back. I think I hear where you're coming from, but you're right, too much too soon can be misleading. I hope you take things at a pace that feels comfortable to you, because right now you have no obligations or anything to this guy and you really don't know him. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 12:04am

Its easy to get caught up in the possibilites. I know, b/c i am right there with you. I "met" someone on Match in Jan. So its been over 2 months of pretty much almost daily communication. & good communication, we talk about a lot. Serious & not serious. Very flirtatious at times as well. & we have spent 1 date, & then 1 weekend together. & continue to speak daily. & i will see him as well this week.


Some say fast intense situations like this can burn out fast, & that may well be the case. But on the other hand, i know attraction physically & intellectually is what has sort of brought us together - so who knows.

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