Who should initiate first contact?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Who should initiate first contact?
4
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 10:28pm
I come from a very generous family (not necessarily rich but generous) and I ve learned to value generosity a lot...
This guy who looks like a model, is gorgeous, tanned , 6'2'', athletic and educated and looking for a serious relationship (so he says) sends me a smile so I send him a smile back hoping that he will write me back.
Then his smile gets deleted (by him obviously) and he sends me another smile (smiles are free on Lava) with a note saying : I could not resist asking for your Backstage pass. Now to send him my Backstage pass I need to buy credits (I ve been on Lava for a year and never had to buy credits, it was always the guy who contacted me)
so basically he is asking me to buy the credits to contact him. I did not as I m not sure what signs I will be sending if I do so. Also he states his income and he is not poor at all. He actually makes more than I make! so why should I buy the credits not him? My point is that guys should at least take care of the first contact. How do most of you feel about that?
I dont think I m missing out on a great catch. I cant stand being with a cheap guy and this one seems like one.



Edited 4/4/2006 11:41 pm ET by juliara2003
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 6:13am

I'm old-fashioned and I'm looking for the guy to pay for the first date, whether it is credits for online chat or IRL.

If he's serious about meeting someone online, he needs to make the financial investment. It shows a level of commitment-readiness. Otherwise, my gut says "player".

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 9:45am
Considering sites like eH and Match where you both need to be paying members to communicate, I don't see what the problem is. Then again, I've never used Lava so I'm not as familiar with how it works.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 10:25am
I know what you mean. That would ERK me, too. I think that he might be so used to tons of attention since he's so good looking. He probably thought you'd jump on giving him a backstage pass (or whatever lava calls it-im not familiar with lava). He's probably gotten by like this for a while with all the other gals he talks to. Well, you aren't other girls. I would next him. Ignore him. This happened to me once at another site and the guy got the picture and paid and contacted me a few days later.
If he really seems great otherwise, then can you send him the same note or whatever back saying for him to give YOU a backstage pass?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 4:42pm
with Lava only one person needs to be a paying member so you buy credits for $15 and can contact 6 people. Everyone can send smiles (with generic notes) for free to send a mail or a backstage pass (to show other pictures to the other member) you need to use 6 points from your credits. Once initial contact is made everything that follows is free.
I m not too worried about the $15 I m more turned off by him asking me practically to pay for the initial contact.
I agree with the last poster when she said he might be high on himself kuz of his good looks and gets away with it. I wont stress about it. I prefer the guy to show some chivalry. so NEXT