Love at First Instant Message?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Love at First Instant Message?!
5
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 7:44pm

For you folks doing the online dating thing... I have a situation that I have never encountered before. Granted, I am a newbie to this form of meeting people, so I don't have much experience at all.

Emailed a man on yahoo personals. He responded. We emailed a few times, then IM'd some more, then talked on the phone. This has been over the span of 7 days, so not a long time at all, but lots of contact.

He is working in another state and plans to come home for a few days at the end of this month, so that would be our only time to meet in person.

He is coming on VERY strong at this point, and I am feeling uncomfortable with his approach. It seems almost desperate. What started out as getting to know eachother has turned into me being the "girl of his dreams", a "goddess", the "diamond in the pile of coal", so on and so forth. He has not used the -love- word but I wouldn't be surprised if he did. It's overwhemling because we have not met in person. I did check out facts that he told me about, i.e. employment and such. I also checked public records in my state where he has his home base while he travels for work. All of it checks out. Googled him and came up with nothing but his hobby website (hunting).

He calls himself a romantic, and writes poetry and in poetic verse a lot. Very literate and articulate. But I have a gut instinct that he is building me up to something that I am not - and I feel like he's gone from stranger to practically down on one knee in a week!

I am definately an idealist, but this seems like overkill. Any suggestions on how I should handle this one? Cut him loose before he flys home, or agree to meet (in a very public place) and see if he is as sappy in person as he is online (he wasn't like that on the phone!). My friends say he is a potential stalker and to watch out. I am torn at this point. Any advice would be great! Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 9:00pm
run forest, run. this is unbalanced behavior.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 10:53pm
His getting attached to you before even meeting you is creepy and strange.
heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 11:11pm
He'd give me the creeps. Desperation is not a turn on. I'd hold off on meeting him. I bet if you refuse to meet him, your feelings will be validated quickly wiht his reaction. Be careful.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 8:20pm
I think you should let him go. I would watch out, you dont know who you are chatting with. He is comming on very strong. It sounds like he is buttering you for something, thats is not so good. For the fact that he is comming on so strong and so soon I would be very careful.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 9:11pm
Run. A desperate guy is so unattractive, and it only gets worse.