How soon can he pick you up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
How soon can he pick you up?
4
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 10:09pm
We all know that safety is important in OLD, meet in a public place, etc, etc, but how long do you wait until you feel safe with him picking you up for a date, knowing where you live, etc? I've been out with this guy a few times, and our next date will be flying somewhere for dinner (which actually doesn't show a lot of trust on my part), but I guess I'm a little hestitant about getting in a car with him. How long before you feel comfortable with that.







iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 1:35am

It's such a good question, and one I've posted here in the past too. I think it comes down to your own level of comfort and trust in someone.

I generally don't have the guy come to pick me up for at least the first few dates. I do this because it keeps things private and relatively neutral. I'm still getting to know the guy and until I feel things are heading in the right direction, want to keep some of my "personal" life private. That includes where I live.

I have a first date with someone tomorrow. He offered to pick me up, but I turned him down (politely) offering to meet him at the restaurant instead. Pending how the evening goes, perhaps I'd let him pick me up the next time if he offered.. probably unlikely since he's driving to where I live tomorrow. Therefore, I'd be apt to drive to his town for the second meet if there is one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 10:28am

I think it depends on when you feel comfortable.

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 6:05pm

Yeah, it's odd because I haven't dated much since college, so it wasn't an issue. We all knew each other, and yeah, there's still risk there, but I still felt comfortable.

And about the plane - I'm the pilot. He's an airline captain, but probably couldn't land a small plane to save his life. I guess my point is, he's not going to fly me off somewhere and assault me. :-)







iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 11:26pm

I dont let someone I dont know very well pick me up or drop me off if it was just the two of us in the car.
Reason: a friend of mine came over from Peru to study French for 4 months in my city. While here, she met a guy online. They met for coffee twice and she felt really safe with him and did not suspect anything weird. The third date, he offered to pick her up and take her to the countryside (3 hour drive from the city) for a picnic-like trip. She trusted him and once there, he asked her to have sex with him in the fieds! she refused , luckily he left her there and drove back. (it could have been worse since we later found out he is a con artist and wanted by provincial police)
The scary part, he used the same name and nobody realised who he was!

so moral of the story is to be careful. If he has a plan to execute he will do anything to make you think he is great guy... perhaps you need to know some of his friends before you declare him trustworthy