online fight pickers

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
online fight pickers
3
Thu, 04-13-2006 - 1:51am

This is so weird (and kind of funny). This last month I have talked to two guys (out of about 10 maybe) and never even made it to meeting in person before they started picking fights with me!

For example, this guy corrected my spelling in our instant-messenger chat. I wrote "bare with me" instead of "bear with me". I just read his correction, and I calmly kept chatting about the subject we were talking about. It didn't bother me that he corrected me. He kept trying to get me to acknowledge what he said in a real serious tone. He apparently had some control issue or something. I very neutrally acknowledged him (actually joked lightly about it and then went on with the chat), but he kept on about it. Then it turned into this convo where he was asking why I was being hostile. I wasn't at all...I jumped right back into our convo naturally. He actually went and copied the webster dictionary definition for both words and pasted them in chat. That was pretty weird. He then said that he can't be with someone who can't take criticism. LOL...it was like he was having a convo with himself because his correction didn't phase me much. I wasn't mad at all. He was just imagining something that wasn't happening. I am pretty confident and a random correction for misspelling isn't going to get me defensive. I processed it in the blink of an eye and could go on chatting. I was very nice. Apparently it didn't phase me enough for him to feel reinforced for correcting me I guess. I felt like he was trying to suck me into a fight or some subject matter that was a little oddly laid out. I truly think it was psychological for him with the way he seemed to be looking for a specific response that he wasn't getting from me. He even emailed me a few times later still going on and on about how we are not compatible b/c of my response. I just emailed him back and agreed that we are not compatible. He didn't like that either. Now, he has aplogized twice for the way he acted and that he didn't mean for it to snowball the way it did.

Anyway, you get the drift. Has anyone else experienced online fight pickers? LOL

Now, I admit, it bothers me when people don't know the difference between "their" and "there" (even then, i still don't point it out):-) but c'mon, this is "bear" as in bearing a burden. He ended up just showing he is not a very nice person with all of the things he said and did surrounding that weird issue he had! Now what is more important...not misspelling a word or being kind, graceful and tactful? I think this guy may have some tendency to snowball without realizing it, and I want to stay away from him.

NEXT!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 04-13-2006 - 9:34am
Good grief!

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Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 04-13-2006 - 10:48am

Wow, what a control freak. In fact it even seems like early signs of an abuser - belittling you, demanding a certain response, not letting go of an issue trying to get it *his* way, then apologizing later

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 11:50pm
I had emailed on and off with somebody and we had seen each other's pics, and we started to IM each other. We decided to meet, and set everything up. Then we were IMing before the meet, and I was interrupted a few times by phone, kids, doorbell etc., and he wants me to STOP THAT, telling me that I am being rude to him. I patiently explained how rude it would be not to answer the door, or phone, or my children. He did it again the following day, and I told him that I saw no reason for us to meet, as he was far too demanding for me. His reply....."I KNEW you would do somthing like this!" I replied back that he knew NOTHING and I did not have the patience for a man who wouldn't allow me to pay attention to anyone but him(knowing he would need the last word). He wrote back again, about how 'we' women ALL expect them (men) to put up with our kids, support us, blah, blah, blah. I stopped responding so he could feel better about having the last word.
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